The Ties That Bind
by Lizzie9
Summary: The fact that he was married topped the list of the million reasons why they shouldn't. There was only one reason ringing in her mind as to why they should. She loved him.' EO angst as they engage in an affair, happiness later. FINAL CHAP UP.
1. Chapter 1

Title: The Ties That Bind

Author: Sara and Lizzie

Rating: T for mild language, violence and sex

Disclaimer: We own nothing related to L&O. We can merely write fictious stories and curse Dick Wolf for teasing us.

**Author's Note: This is our second SVU fic. It's set before Elliot and Kathy's separation, but they are having problems. The italics are a flashback, and the song is by Jack's Mannequin. This might just be a oneshot. But we have ideas to continue, so if you like it, REVIEW. Please, we're slaves to your opinions. **

_**Skin new, hands true,  
**__**My hands all over you,  
**__**So what's another night,  
**__**The seat's rolled back,  
**__**We can't see through.  
**__**The rain's the rain.  
**__**And some air'd be good. **_

It was raining on Manhattan. It wasn't a cold or bitter rain. It was a hotter, steamy rain. The kind that makes the romantics think that something is just bound to happen. It was one of those sultry June rains that tugs at you, makes you a little crazy. The cynics say it's nothing. But sometimes, even the most cynical of people, those who think they are always in total control can be surprised. Maybe your life really can be turned completely upside down. And maybe you are powerless to stop it. Outside, it was raining on Manhattan. Inside, Olivia Benson rested her head on the wall of her apartment, recalling the events of that day.

_-Flashback-_

_The 1-6, 9: 15 am._

_It was a random occurrence. Hostage situations usually happen under the cover of night. They were like affairs. Low key, until they blew up in everyone's face. The only thing that made this situation any different was that it was happening in Harlem at 9:15 in the morning._

_"Lennox and West 145th. A block or so from the river. We've got two teenage girls, in a warehouse with a nut job. It looks like he's only got a gun, but we're sending you up with swat teams, just in case."_

_Lenox Ave & W.145th Street, Harlem, 9:44 pm_

_It was strange, but while their squad car raced up 2nd avenue, it felt just like a normal case. Strange, but not that strange. Olivia felt the nervous energy working in her system as Elliot manuervered the car through the traffic, and with sirens blasting, that was still difficult._

_As Malcom X boulevard became Lennox Avenue, Elliot slowed down. He followed the SWAT team to the warehouse, and parked the car a distance away. An NYPD unit trained especially for hostage situations was already there._

_They sat in the car, preparing to go in. "Liv, be careful." Elliot commanded._

_"I have done this before."_

_"Of course you have. It's just…" his voice trailed off and everything he couldn't say hung in the air. Olivia opened the door, and strapped herself into her bullet proof vest. With surprising synchroncy, the two detectives moved together towards the forces that were already there._

_"What's going on?" Olivia asked one of the officers. He sighed._

_"You guys from Special Victims?"_

_They nodded, together._

_"This is bad. Worse than when we called Cragen. He raped one of those girls."_

_They nodded, together, taking it in stride, together._

_"Is there a back entrance?" Elliot asked._

_"Several."_

_Elliot jerked his head at Olivia and she followed him, trusting him._

_"What are you thinking?" she asked, wondering if he would even tell her that. She knew he was having a hard time. He and Kathy were having problems, Maureen wanted to study abroad, and he didn't like it, and the cases were getting to him. But she hadnt heard a word of it from him. It had all come to her through someone else, and she hated that._

_He used to tell her things. He used to trust her. Now he cut her off. Made her feel like a complete stranger. But she still trusted him. She trusted him because she had to. He was married, and therefore unattainable, and since she had long since learned the hard way she was incapable of loving anyone else, a blind sense of trust in the man who unintentionally ruined her was the only thing she had to cling to._

_"I'll go in a back door, and try to get the girls out."_

_"And…?"_

_"And, nothing. That was the idea."_

_"The idea was that you go in a back door, try to get the girls out, with nothing to distract the guy who's holding them in there while I what, exactly? Shoot the breeze with the SWAT team?"_

_"Fine, Liv." He said, wondering why he even proposed things like that. He always knew it would earn him nothing but sarcasm. "What do you propose?"_

_"You go in the back door and try to get the girls out. While I go in the front door, and distract the guy who's holding them hostage?"_

_"Destract him? With what?"_

_"Maybe I'll go in naked." He looked away. She sighed, sad that four months ago he would have chuckled at that despite the gravity of the situation. He would have least smiled. Now he rarely smiled at her at all._

_"I'm sure I can think of something." She said, adapting his business like, formal tone._

_They set off. Olivia relayed their plan to the hostage unit, who agreed, at this point, that anything was worth a shot. Olivia knocked on the door. "My name is Olivia Benson. I'd like to come in and talk to you guys."_

_The door opened slightly. "Why should you?" came a male voice._

_"We can work this out, can't we?" Olivia asked. "If I leave my gun out here." She said, dropping her gun on the ground. The door opened a little further, and Olivia took that to mean yes._

_She stepped inside gingerly, and started playing the talking game._

_Meanwhile, Elliot crept around the back of the building, angry at himself. He was shutting her out, and it hurt her. He didn't want to cut her off, he just needed to. He forced himself to focus, and pushed open a backdoor, slowly._

_Time seemed to take forever. He crept into the room where he could hear Olivia's voice coming from. He saw a wire running across the floor near his feet. He frowned, and followed it with his eyes. Olivia saw him, hovering at the back of the room, and she could see he was on to something._

_Elliot stepped towards the wall where the wire ran up, and he tried very hard not to gasp when he saw what the wire was cconnecting. Explosives, and it looked like a lot of them. He stepped backwards, wanting to go outside and alert the SWAT team, and get Olivia pulled out immediately. But he made his first- and fatal- mistake. He made noise. Just a tiny one, but the perp heard it. Ever so slightly, the man turned his head around. Olivia, talking to the tied up teenagers, missed the actions._

_Elliot followed the man with eyes as he walked. And then he saw it. It was discreet, but you would recognize it if you had to. It was a detenator. Still across the room, but not far from the man. Elliot didn't have time to think about his next move. So he didn't think, he just made it._

_He sprinted across the room, and tackled Olivia out the door. The warehouse exploded before they hit the pavement._

Now, in her apartment, it seemed so long ago. She blinked twice and tried to go over it all in her head. She and Elliot had landed hard on the concrete outside. He had been harsh and snappy with her, then shutting down and refusing to say anything at all.

And those girls had died in that building. For what? For her? She knew that realisitically, Elliot hadnt had time to react the way he might have wanted to. She knew, that realisitcally, even if he had left her, he wouldnt gotten out with those girls. But she still felt guilty. And discouaraged.

And hurt. It was entirely frustrating, having no control over your emotions. So Olivia strapped on her running shoes, and set out into the New York evening, depsite the rain.

She didn't know how long or how far she ran. It felt like forever, yet she knew she couldn't have been gone all that long.

She turned the corner to her apartment, and ran, slowing in front of her apartment. Elliot was standing in front of her building, waiting. She wished that she was surprised, but she wasn't. Despite his silence, his distance, she had been expecting this. His blue eyes locked into her brown ones, and held her gaze. She fished the key out of her pocket and opened the door.

"You should have called." She said. "I would have come back." He shrugged.

Neither of them said anything on the way through her building to her walk up. She fumbled with the key a little bit this time, but he still didn't say anything.

She let them both inside. They stood awkwardly in her living room, both of them dripping all over her floor, but still, neither of them could seem to find the words to say. His eyes pierced through hers, and Olivia felt a little bit like she might be drowning.

She was seconds away from throwing several years of perfectly mastered restraint down the tubes, so she turned away, putting her back to him, pretending to be straightening something out on her coffee table.

She didn't know what to do. She couldn't think of a single thing to say. Then he spoke for both of them.

"Liv…" he choked out. His voice sounded like he was. Broken. Or like he was just too full of everything not to be wrecked.

She wished she knew why. She knew know what had and what was going to happen. She wished she knew the reason that he put some much space between them. And why he had chosen now to break down, and take every inch away.

Maybe it was that explosion. But she knew that wasn't the only reason. It was only the tip of the iceberg. Yes, it was because two innocent girls had exploded today. It was also because two more would die tomorrow, and another the day after that. It was because innocent people had been dying forever, and no matter how hard they tried to fight it, it wasn't going to end.

It was because he tortured himself by obbsessing over when one of his daughters was going to be the next victim. It was because his marriage, his control and his stability were crumbling.

Olivia closed the gap between them in three steps. He drew her close to him, and held her tightly, like she was sustaining him. Olivia pulled away and looked in his eyes again.

The fact that he was married topped the list of the million reasons why they shouldn't. There was only one reason ringing in her mind as to why they should. She loved him.

No, that wasn't the only reason. She loved him, and she always had, and he needed her now, because he was lost and broken and lying in front of her in pieces. And she wanted to put him back together again.

"Liv," He whispered again, "I need you."

And suddenly she was all out of reasons not to. Her heart had shattered at his last words, so she didn't even need to protect that anymore. If he was broken, she was annihilated. If his heart and his resolve were in pieces, every last inch of her was smashed.

They were both broken. So she kissed him. She was shaking and scared, but she kissed him. She couldn't remember that he was married, or that they were partners. She broke the kiss, and stared at him brown into blue. This time, he kissed her.

It was so real, it was frightening. Olivia had never allowed herself to imagine this happening. And now it was. They kissed their way into the bedroom, where Olivia, for the first time in a long time, let go of her perfectly attained sense of control.

And Elliot gave into the feelings that had been eating away at him for months.

Before long, Detectives Benson and Stabler had given up their facts, the raitonale and their supressed feelings. The two detectives, who were professional, if unconventional, become bare skin and tangled bed sheets.

And it was raining on Manhattan.

_So, should we keep going? Review. Tell us what you think. Pleeeeease._


	2. Chapter 2

Title: The Ties That Bind

Author: Sara and Lizzie

Rating: T for mild language, violence and sex

Disclaimer: We own nothing related to L&O. We can merely write fictious stories and curse Dick Wolf for teasing us.

**Author's Note: This is our second SVU fic. It's set before Elliot and Kathy's separation, but they are having problems. The italics are a flashback, and the song is by Saves The Day. If you like it, REVIEW. Please, we're slaves to your opinions. **

****

**_The only thing I know,  
is awkward silence,  
you eyelids close,  
when you're around me,  
to shut me out,  
don't shut me out._**

June 3, 11:38 pm  
Manhattan

Sex. It was, in this case, inevitable, but so much more than sex. Olivia knew, on some level, why Elliot had come to her that night, but in some other respects, she had no idea. The sex had been better than she had ever experienced before, but maybe because she knew it was Elliot. It was more than the sex, and it gave her one damning answer.

Olivia sat on her bed, knees pulled to her chest, long after Elliot left. She could barely stand to be in her own apartment, but she tortured herself by not moving, just sitting on her bed.

She heard the silence. She was breathing and the rain was still making its presence known on the building's roof, but all she heard was the silence that he left behind. She would always feel it when he wasn't there. She would feel it every time she stood in her living room, and every time she went to bed.

She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to shut out the memories. Had she actually laid down on her bed and pulled him to her?

"You're gorgeous, Liv." He had whispered.

It was a perfect thing for him to say at the time. But now it made her cringe. She had heard words like that directed at her throughout her entire life. Gorgeous. Beautiful. But she never believed it until Elliot said it. And she hated herself for that.

June 3, 11:34 pm  
Queens

Kathy Stabler laid in her bed, the TV casting a faint glow around the room as she dutifully watched the news, waiting for Elliot to come home. The phone rang, and she retrieved it from its stand with a heavy sigh.

"Hey Kath."

"Elliot, where are you?"

"Leaving the city. We had a rough day. Hostage situation gone wrong."

"When will you be home?"

"Soon. There's traffic in the tunnel, but soon."

She said goodbye and clicked off the phone. She felt so disconnected from her husband. The last few weeks, months maybe, she had felt him slipping away. He didn't talk to her, he didn't connect with her. He definetly showed no interest in sleeping with her. He was distracted when she talked and when she picked fights.

She told herself it was the job. Always had been the job, always would be the job. She told herself that so often she believed it. She banished to the back of her mind the notion that it could be something, or someone else.

June 3, 11:56 pm  
Queens- Midtown Tunnel

Elliot was surprised to find there actually was traffic in the tunnel. One less lie, then. He stared straight above the dash, out the front window, refusing to look in his rear view mirror. Behind him was Olivia and the city, in front of him, was the road back home.

Back to Queens. Back to Kathy. The kids. Back to the life he was supposed to be living. The one that didn't have a place for Olivia Benson.

He was in Queens when two thoughts occurred to him. She had always had a place in his life. More so, if the life he had to live didn't have room for her, he wasn't sure he wanted to be living it. The thoughts that were running through his mind terrified him.

Elliot was a family man. He loved his kids more than anything. And he loved his wife. But things were different now. His relationship with Kathy wasn't the same. Maybe it hadn't been the same for five years, since he met Olivia. Maybe it was longer.

Elliot was a family man. But when lightning strikes, it's hard to ignore. You can bury it. Pretend it's anything other than love. But tonight had proven him wrong. She was the only place he could think to go to feel a little less hollow, a little more okay. He loved her. But he would continue to deny it.

Because he was married. And that's what he had to do. Deny it. So he shook his headat the wheel. Trying to clear it. Trying to erase the memory of kissing Olivia. Trying to forget her skin on his.

But when lighting strikes, it's hard to ignore.

June 5, 8:04 am  
The 1-6

Cragen checked his watch anxiously. "Benson's late." He announced.

Munch raised his eyebrows. "By 4 minutes, Cap." He frowned. "What's with the jumpiness anyway?"

"Government poisoned him with something. Probably the whole precinct." Fin supplied.

Munch turned his incredulous expression on his partner. Fin shrugged. "Figured I'd say it for you."

Elliot sighed at his desk, looking like he hadn't slept at all the previous night. He stared across at Olivia's still empty desk, wondering if she would look at him today. It was a question he couldn't answer. And he hated himself for making it that way. Elliot liked answers and options. But he hadn't given Olivia any of either.

For the last days, she had met his eyes exactly three times, and touched him once. By accident. Two nights ago, they had shared all they had to share, and now, when she bumped his hand reaching for the same file, it made her leave the room.

Since he left her house, she only spoke to him when she had to. Elliot was angry with himself. Angry for going to her, angry for asking for what he asked for, angry for taking, and angry for wanting more.

It was at this point that she interrupted the rambling in his head by flying into the precinct in a whirl of activity.

"Good." Cragen said, a grim expression on his face. "We're all here."

Olivia looked around and noticed not only were Elliot, Munch and Fin in the room, but also Casey and Huang. She frowned at Cap. "What's the occasion?"

His face fell. "We're all catching. That guy that blew up the warehouse? He was acting on orders."

"What are we talking?" Fin asked.

"Drugs, torture and teen prostitution. The prostitution severs as advertising for the drug business. He only uses kidnapped teenagers. He sends them to parties to plant drug samples with his business cards on other teenagers. They use, they want more. He profits or he kidnaps them and uses them as runner and whores."

Huang nodded. "I'd say it's about power. The girls, the control, the drugs, the money. It's a definitie power issue. My guess on a basic profile is a sociopath who had extremely controling parents."

He took a breath, but faltered instead of saying more, as Alex Cabot flew in the door. She dumped her briefcase on the floor. "I'm so sorry. I forgot how long it takes to get anywhere in New York. Not that working the register at the Chanel in San Fransisco required any real urgency, but God, did witness protection make me lazy."

She stopped, and realized that she had inturrupted, so she scooted into her spot next to Casey, and listened.

"This guy is either a criminal master mind or he has a network of very willing lackeys." Munch commented.

"Or both." Huang interjected.

"So how do we find him?" Elliot piped up.

"That's the tricky part. The only thing we know is that recently, as in the last month or so he's cornered coke, speed, crack and meth, from Central Park to the Village."

"That's a big area." Olivia said. "No way it's just him and some teenage girls."

"So here's what we do." Cragen said. "Elliot, and Olivia. Go over every file on that case from yesterday. We've got nice fat folders on both of the girls, and the perp. Fin, go back to narcotics, find out everything you can about this guy. John, you get to go through any kidnapped girls still missing in the last two months. Go."

June 5, 1:23 pm  
The 1-6

Alex sighed. She had only been back in New York for a month, and had only been back at work for a week, but she could see that something was going on between Elliot and Olivia. She knew this Olivia. It was sleep deprived, over caffienated Olivia. She had been acting like this for the last two days, like she couldn't bear to look at Elliot. She wasn't functioning like Olivia Benson. Her face was frowing at a file on her desk.

Alex's eyes found Elliot in the corner filecabinet searching for something. They had been doing this little dance for two days. Tense and overbearing Elliot cornering jumpy and introverted Olivia. She would go through hoops and bounds to avoid him, and he practically shouted at her in hopes of elliciting some sort of reaction.

Elliot returned to their joined desk and sat down. Olivia immediately stood up and started rushing around the room, pretending to look for files. Elliot sighed. He needed her to at least look at him. He looked down and opened the file that appeared identical to every other one he'd looked at in the last two hours. He dropped his head in his hands, and when he looked up, Olivia was gone.

Alex looked at Elliot, sitting at his desk, staring at the spot where his partner had been standing. She looked at the door that Liv have gone through up to the roof. Instead of acting on either impulse, she shook her head, and retreated to find Casey.

Elliot sat at his desk, in the empty room. Alex had departed soon after Olivia, and Munch had grumbled something about lunch an hour ago. Elliot thought about calling Kathy, but images Olivia's bedroom kept playing in his memory. Olivia's hand on the back of his neck when she pulled him to her on the bed.

He couldn't shaked the image of the streetlights shining through the window, or Olivia's eyes as she looked up at him. He was filled with confusion, and feeling, but not an ounce of regret. And that's what scared him.

June 5, 2:05 pm  
The 1-6

Gray, tumultuous clouds over shadowed the sun, and a warm breeze picked up, giving the air a chraged feel. It was the kind of weather that gives you a gut feeling something you can't control is going to happen. But there's a fine line between can't control and don't want to control.

Olivia sighed and looked at how the clouds blended into the skyline. She surveyed the city, grateful for the chaos it provided her with. The traffic and the people and the wind made a symphony for her, a relief from the tense atmosphere that had taken over the precinct for the last two days.

She couldn't talk to Elliot. Because she knew the first thing he was going to say to her was that it was all a mistake, and he was sorry. And they were words she knew were true, but refused to hear. So she avoided him. Or at least she tried. She sighed again as she felt the familiar sensation of a little shiver down her spine, and a little pull in her stomach, and she knew Elliot haad found her.

"Hey stranger." He said, trying to keep things light.

"Hey."

He walked next to her, and stood at the ledge of the roof next to her. "What is it about this rooftop, that makes us come here when things get hard?"

She stared straight ahead, and didn't answer. It was silent for a long time, and Elliot was afraid she was just going to pretend he wasn't there, until she finally spoke again. "I love this city." She said. Elliot listened. "It's an intoxicating mix. So much life and potential, but so much death and destructuion. There's a certain magic to it."

Elliot surveyed the skyline, nodding his head. "So I haven't heard much out of you lately."

"So you know how it feels." She said, nodding as well. "Cause I havent heard much out of you lately either."

He nodded again, knowing she was right. Olivia bit her lip, knowing what was coming. The apology. They would soon erase that night from memory, and it would never be spoken of again.

"Liv, I can't explain myself." He burst out. "And I'm sorry for that. And I know that the other night was…surreal. But I feel like I fixed something."

She blinked at him, once than twice, her face inquisitive. She waited for him to deliver the final, earth shattering blow.

"Liv, I went home, two nights ago, and for the first night in a long time, I could sleep."

She let his words hit her and she absorbed them. She wasn't sure how it happened, up there, on that roof, under those clouds. It shouldn't have been this way. It was the one thing between them they weren't supposed to share. She was independent. He was married.

But as her lips fused to his on the roof, and they kiss grew deeper, it was sealed. When Olivia pulled back and locked his eyes into hers, brown into blue, his unspoken question, found her unspoken answer. And it was the same damning conclusion she had reached two nights ago, huddled in her bed. She knew it. She knew it in their kiss, in the meeting of their eyes. She would never be the same.


	3. Chapter 3

Title: The Ties That Bind

Author: Sara and Lizzie

Rating: T for mild language, violence and sex

Disclaimer: We own nothing related to L&O. We can merely write fictious stories and curse Dick Wolf for teasing us.

**Author's Note: This is our second SVU fic. It's set before Elliot and Kathy's separation, but they are having problems. We want to set it straight that we know it's out of character, and Elliot would never cheat on Kathy. That's why we call it fan _fiction_. We're trying to keep their basic traits the same, but in our situation. So to the person who sent us the scathing email, get over it. The italics are a flashback, and the song is by Motion City Soundtrack. If you like it, REVIEW. Please, we're slaves to your opinions. **

_**I know I shouldn't waste my time**_  
_**Wishing I'd been better designed. **_

June 5, 2:16 pm  
The 1-6

The rooftop of a police station was not the place where most people want the single, solitary thing they've wanted for years to finally happen. Underneath that rooftop was a world most people like to ignore. The overstressed, underpaid police who investiagte homicides, drug deals and rape.

But for Olivia Benson, it started here, six years ago, when she walked in the door. She was introduced to Elliot Stabler, and knew he was married before he told her, or before she saw the ring.

She had probably fallen in love with him that very instant, but she had never pegged herself as the type to believe that love at first sight really exists. It started here, and it was changing here. This was the transistion from their first mistake to their string of ones to follow.

His hand that had started on her cheek was now in her hair. The fingers that had begun that first kiss on her waist, were now tracing the outline of her collarbone.

She felt it changing. The hadn't been on this roof for long, but every their lips parted and met again, shefelt them slipping away from who they were, and changing into who they were rapidly becoming.

What had kept them in the last six years was a delicate balance of restraint, and desire, insecurity and control.

It stemmed from Olivia, who felt that as the child of a rape, she harbored something bad, something evil inside of her. It was the same insecurity that made Elliot feel he would never measure up, but that he shouldn't feel the feelings.

The insecurities they harbored convinced them, they could never feel the same way about each other.

It went deeper than that for Olivia. He was married. There was no control more worthy of holding onto than that. She had a heart to protect.

But she also had a reckless need to put that heart in danger. She hated herself for being constructed like this. She needed some sort of tragedy or challenge to thrive. And she had them.

* * *

June 6, 5:32 am  
Manhattan

"Benson." She answered the phone, still half asleep.

"Liv, we got a lead."

"It's 5:30, Elliot." She said. "In the morning." She added for emphasis. Elliot grinned into his cell phone.

"I'll pick you up in forty minutes." He said.

She groaned through the airwaves. "And I'll bring you coffee." He added.

He watched in amazement as she glided into the car an hour later.It was hard for him to look away.

She accepted the coffee he offered her, and looked at him. "What have we got?"

"The guy in the warehouse. His laptop."

"It didn't blow up?"

"Apparently not."

* * *

June 6, 7:24 am  
Harlem

"The explosives weren't wired as well as they should have been. Everyone inside was killed instantly." The director of the Manhattan SWAT team explained. "But,from what we've pieced together the guy who blew the place didn't know he was going to blow the place."

"What did he think was going to happen?" Elliot asked, remembering that awful moment when he saw the wires, and realized what was going to happen.

"I'm pretty sure he thought it was a panic button. I think this is bigger than we think detectives. Anyway, the hard to his laptop didn't go, so you should be able to access any files or Internet sites he accessed."

* * *

June 6, 5:47 pm  
The 1-6

Olivia had no idea it would take this long to reconstruct a hard drive. She was leaning back in her desk chair, with her feet resting on the desk, itself. She sighed every other minute and tapped her fingers on the arm of the chair in a way that drove Elliot crazy.

"Liv." He said shortly, sending a pointed glance at her hands. She rolled her eyes, but stopped.

It was silent. The gross uncertainty of their situation made Olivia feel especially frustrated. "Isn't there something we could be doing?" she wondered, out loud.

He smiled slowly at her, with raised eyebrows. "This is our only lead."

"I hate just sitting here. I feel like we should be doing something."

She smiled sheepishly back at him, amused by the childish double meaning of her own words.

"Elliot, I know we don't want to talk about, um, the other night but.."

"Hard drive. In a computer." Came a voice from across the precinct. "Took forever, but we got it up and running. The computer we put the hardrive in is compatible with his former system, so you won't have any problems."

Olivia rolled her eyes at the smug guy from Technical Assistance. "Thanks." She said. "And if we do have problems?" He handed her a card.

"Has my cell and my house." He sighed. "Call me anytime."

"Thanks." Olivia said, accepting the card, and putting the box with the laptop containing the newly reconstructed hardrive under her left arm. She set it down on her desk and looked at Elliot, who was staring into space. Munch and Fin had left five, and Cragen was over at Police Plaza, smoothing things over with narcotics, who thought they should be handling this case.

She thought about saying something, but realized she had nothing to say, so she walked away.

* * *

June 6, 5:47 pm  
Queens

"Mom, I'm starving."

"Seriously, Mom. It's Friday night. I want to go to Brittany's. Can we just eat?"

Kathy shook her head. "Dad said he'd be home. I want to wait until he gets here."

Kathleen sighed and left the kitchen. Dickie shrugged and opened the fridge. Kathy closed her eyes, too distracted and pissed off to try to stop him from eating before dinner. The last thing Elliot said to her this morning before he left at 5:30, was that he would be home by 5. Now it was almost six and he hadnt even called.

She sat down in a chair, and seethed. How convienet for Elliot that he had plenty of time to save the world, but couldn't even make it home for his own family.

* * *

June 6, 5:56 pm  
The 1-6

But what Elliot was doing was not exactly world saving. What he should be doing was in a boxx on his partner's desk.

"I'm sorry Elliot." She said, her voice raised slightly. "I just thought we needed to talk about it."

"Let's not." He said.

"Yea, that's a great idea." Olivia shot back. She looked at him, and realized he was serious.

"Liv," he said, pleading. "Let's not."

"What is this, El?" she whispered. He shrugged, as if he didn't know. As if it was a conquest. As if it were simple, uncomplicated sex.

She saw through his façade. It was more then he made it. For both of them. She saw through the façade, but she didn't know what she saw. But she saw that it hurt him. So she reached out and squeezed his hand.

Right there in the precinct hallway. It was deserted, but she still hated to do it. She hated marking the places she had to go everyday with memories of contact with him.

Olivia dropped his hand abruptly, and went in the direction of their desk. "I'll get started." She said, discreetly letting him know she was giving him a minute.

"Thanks." Elliot said, with a grateful smile. He heard the ringing of his cell from the silent office. "Answer that will you?"

"Hello?" she said, snappong his phone. There was silence on the other line.

"Hello?" she repeated.

"Olivia?" asked a distinctly feminine voice.

"Kathy." Olivia said, awkwardly, feeling guilt wash over her. "How are you?"

"Frustrated." Kathy said as Elliot sauntered in the room, grinning smugly at Olivia.

"Are we going to eat before or after this computer project?" he asked Olivia.

She waved him quiet with her hand. "What is it?"

"My husband, who I hear bellowing, promised me he'd be home an hour ago."

"We got a lead on a big case." Olivia said. "We had no choice but to wait for it, to make sure it checked out."

Kathy sighed. Everytime she thought she could confide in Olivia, she went right back and defended Elliot on anything. "Could you just ask him when he's planning on coming home?"

Olivia covered the reciever with her hand. "It's Kathy. You were supposed to be home for dinner an hour ago, and she's pissed. She wants to know when to expect you. Go home if you want to. I can do this myself."

Elliot nodded. "Thanks." He said, reaching out for his phone. "Kath?" he said. "I'm so sorry. I'm on my way now."

He listened to her, rolled his eyes, then clicked off. "Thanks, Liv." He said, walking toward her. She was leaning against his desk, her arms crossed over her chest. He kissed her forehead.

She sighed heavily and sat down in his desk, without saying anything. He pushed the box toward her, and smiled. "I owe you."

"Get out of here." She said.

He started walking, before he could change his mind and stop moving. He turned when he reached the door, and saw her watching him leave, a sort of fascination playing across her features.

Elliot left the building abruptly, feeling cold and empty. He got as far as his car, when he realized he was doing what Olivia counted on everyone to do. Leave. And he couldn't. Couldn't leave her sitting there inside that room, alone. So he pulled out his cell phone and made the call back to Queens. To tell Kathy it couldn't wait. And as he felt his own heartbeat speed up, he realized it couldn't.

Olivia sighed and pulled the laptop out of the box. She plugged the power cord into the nearest outlet, and rolled Elliot's chair back to his desk. She didn't know why she insisted on sitting there, but she couldn't make herself move.

Olivia reasoned with herself. She was being rididuclous. They had only had sex once. For all she knew, it would never happen again. "He is married." She whispered to herself in the silence. But it still hurt her that he left. Not that she acknowledged that hurt.

She tapped her fingers on his desk, waiting for the computer to boot up. She opened the left drawer and fingered all the junk he kept in there.

Her head snapped up as the door opened and Elliot walked back in.

They stared at each other for a second, and then Olivia found her voice. "Thought dinner was waiting."

"I'm late already."

"I didn't want to leave you here."

"I'm a big girl."

"I couldn't leave you here." He said, his tone changing.

"Oh." She stood up. "We could come back in a few hours. The computer will still be here."

* * *

June 6, 8:24 pm  
Manhattan

Olivia's stomach fluttered. She was standing in her darkened room, in her normally empty apartment. Elliot was two inches from her, and she could feel that magnetism between them.

He pulled her close and kissed her. And she could barely believe this was happening again. The questions rose in her mind, and she pushed them away. She didn't care what they were doing, what was happening, that they were destroying each other.

He wrapped his arms around, and unknowingly mirrored her actions. How could he know that she too was pushing the doubt, the guilt and the unanswered questions out of her mind, just like he pushed them out of his.

She reached down, and undid his belt, and gently pulled his shirt out of it's tucked in position. She let her finger wander across his abdomens, and smiled when she felt him shiver.

She moved back toward her bed, and pulled him down again.

This life was not what most people would choose. They wouldn't want to see what Olivia Benson saw every day. And Olivia Benson too, had spent most of her life wishing things were different. But in this moment, she didn't want to be anyone else.


	4. Chapter 4

Title: The Ties That Bind

Author: Sara and Lizzie

Rating: T for mild language, violence and sex

Disclaimer: We own nothing related to L&O. We can merely write fictious stories and curse Dick Wolf for teasing us.

**Author's Note: This is our second SVU fic. It's set before Elliot and Kathy's separation, but they are having problems. We want to set it straight that we know it's out of character, and Elliot would never cheat on Kathy. That's why we call it fan _fiction_. We're trying to keep their basic traits the same, but in our situation. So to the person who sent us the scathing email, get over it. The italics are a flashback, and the song is by Motion City Soundtrack. If you like it, REVIEW. Please, we're slaves to your opinions. **

_**I'm liquid cold, she's murder gray,  
we're hollowed by circumstance  
that pushed us both away.**_

June 7, 3:16 am  
Manhattan

Elliot was sleeping in her bed. He had slept on her couch once, Olivia recalled. But he was naked, sleeping in her bed. Olivia was sitting up, knees pulled to her chest, alternately watching him and the clock.

It wasn't sex she could just fall alseep after. It wasn't sex that you woke up and functioned normally after. It was still scary and still new and still wrong.

She looked away from him, and back at the clock. 3:18. Her thoughts drifted to the laptop that was still running at Elliot's desk in the precinct. She extended her leg, and kicked him.

Elliot woke up immediately. He hadn't really been sleeping. Just sort of drifting. He could feel Olivia sitting next to him, looking arounding and tensing every few minutes.

"There's a reconstructed hard drive with our name on it." She whispered.

"It's early."

She didn't say anything at first. She just smiled at him. He smiled back at her. A genuine, honest smile. "It is early. But it's our own fault." She was afraid to fall asleep next to him. She was afraid to do anything to make it real.

June 7, 5:56 am  
The 1-6

Alex Cabot and Casey Novak entered the precinct together. It was early, but they had to get the warrant for Patrick Ford's house. He was the man who held the girls in the warehouse. They walked up to the precinct and Casey glanced at Alex. She idolized Alex Cabot all the time that she had been here. The newly re-instated ADA was a legend, and now she and Casey worked together. Casey had feared that Alex wouldn't think she was good enough, but somehow, they had become friends.

Casey pulled open the door, and allowed Alex to step inside first. The blonde took three steps inside, then stopped. Casey walked up next to her and the two of them just stared. There, at one desk were Elliot and Olivia, sitting close, pouring over a lap top and a printer, making a file of everything they printed out.

Elliot was still in the same shirt he had worn yesterday, but Olivia had changed clothes. They kept smiling at each in a way neither ADA had never really seen them smile before.

Casey shook her head. "They wouldn't…" her voice trailed off. Alex said nothing. She just watched, lips slightly parted as the two detectives stared at the computer.

All of a sudden Olivia shook her head. "There's something familiar about these names. Too familiar." She and Elliot started moving at the same time. They both got up and started for the huge filing cabinet in the corner of the room. Olivia started frantically yanking out files.

She read the names on the top and threw them down. She gave a short hard laugh. "They're all doing time." She muttered.

Elliot picked up every file she discarded and read the names of the detectives in a low tone. "Benson and Stabler, Benson and Stabler, Tutola and Munch, Benson and Stabler, Benson and Tutuloa."

Olivia turned to face him, and for the first time noticed Alex and Casey. "All of our cases." She turned to the ADA's. "How did we never notice this guy before?"

Alex shrugged. "If he has as much power as we think he does, I doubt anyone would be jumping to come clean to the authorities."

Casey nodded. "If you've put away his top guys, he may have been forced to move down his chain of command."

Olivia shook her head. "This guy's higher than high profile. Even the person at the bottom of his chain wouldn't be this sloppy. I mean, they caught onto this guy within the hour…" she looked at Elliot.

Alex and Casey watched curiously as the two detectives held each other's gaze. Elliot cursed to himself. He looked at his partner again, and reached out his hand to snap at a young cop leaving night duty.

"Hook that computer up to a modem." He said. The rookie nodded. Elliot's eyes never left his partner's, until he started digging frantically through a file cabinet. He held a thick folder aloft.

"Rodgers." He said to Olivia. She looked at him blankly. The urgency of his look intensified. "David Rodgers. He threatened you. Lunged at you in the interrogation room. He said you didn't know what you were digging up, bitch." Elliot said dryly with an ironic grin. "I made you report him."

Olivia averted her gaze. "Oh yeah, him." She rifled through the files, and yanked out another one. "Here's one who seemed particularly hostile."

"I knew that message meant something other than the usual." Elliot continued. "I mean we didn't know what he was implying at the time, but now that we do.." he trailed off, then began again. "We should call in, see what they found out after you filed that complaint."

Olivia looked distinctly uncomfortable. Elliot eyed. "You filed it, didn't you?" he demanded.

Olivia studied the file cabinet. "I didn't exactly get around to it."

Elliot's eyes narrowed. "Did you at least tell Cragen?" Olivia shook her head. Elliot slammed the file cabinet shut. "Jesus, Liv." He shouted. "This is serious."

"Which neither of us knew then." She reminded him.

"You told me you reported it." He said in a low voice.

She take a bold step closer to him, getting in his face. "Would you have reported it?" She challenged.

"That's not the point, Liv."

"It's not the point because you wouldn't have. You get threatened every day and you never tell Cragen, let alone file an official report. But what? Because it's me, there have to be reports. I can take care of myself, Elliot."

"What else have you lied about?"

Her eyes got a little wide. "Nothing." She said, her anger tinged with hurt.

"Should I believe that?" Elliot asked. He turned to Alex and Casey. "You two are the lawyers. Is she lying?"

"It was one thing Elliot."

He slammed his fist into his hand. "Damn it Olivia!" No more Liv. They were all out of niceties now.

She raised her eyebrows and smirked at him. "I guess it depends on the type of lie you tell then, doesn't it?" she mused. "Would it be ok to lie to you if, say, I didn't want dinner?" Elliot's face clouded and she stormed away.

He punched the file cabinet, as if for good measure, and stormed in the opposite direction. Casey and stood, taking in their wreckage and staring at each other.

June 11, 5:58 pm.  
The 1-6

Four days. Elliot hadn't spoken to her in four days. Four days, twelve hours and two minutes, but she wasn't counting. She plopped down at her desk in the dimly lit squad room. It was a Friday night. The place was basically empty. She opened a file she hadn't remember putting there. She pulled out the papers and read them. They were emails.

She ripped the post it note off the top one.

Olivia-

Got these off the computer.

Elliot.

She almost laughed. It was brief and formal. Olivia. Not Liv, Olivia. She started to read the emails. She almost laughed again. Of course. They were all threatening. They called her and Elliot and Munch and Fin out by name, but of course, mostly her.

She sighed. "You were right Elliot." She murmured to the dark, still room. "As usual."

She felt something in her spine before he spoke. She knew what he was going to say before he said it.

"One more time, Liv?"

She smiled. "You were right."

He stepped out into the light where she could see him. "Hi." She said.

"I'm sorry." He told her earnestly.

"Me too." She said.

"We can't do this, Liv." He heard himself saying.

She nodded. "I know." She ran a hand through her hair. "I know."

He eyed her. "And it's ok?"

"It's just… embarassing Elliot." She told him. "I should never have thought we could do this." She stood up. "I'm going to go home."

"Be careful."

She rolled her eyes. "Top priority." Elliot watched her stride away from him, open the door and slam it shut. He imagined her stalking out onto the street, and he felt like he should be running after her.

He had expected to feel relieved after this conversation. He had expected the guilt to fade, and for things to lapse back into their usual normality.

Instead, he couldn't tear his away from the place Olivia had been standing. Instead, he just felt empty.

June 11, 11:43 pm  
Waldorf- Astoria  
Midtown

Ryan Harrison threw a packet of pictures on the table. Cammie Cooper leafed through them. "She's prettier than most of the socialite set." She commented.

"She's a cop."

Cammie looked up at Ryan and raised her perfectly groomed eyebrows. "Really?"

"I need you to call her, and set up a meeting. You'll talk to her about what I tell you to talk to her about."

Cammie tossed her mahagony curls over her right shoulder. "Ryan." She said slowly, "I don't want to be involved in your business ventures."

His eyes narrowed. She sighed. Ryan Harrison was the son of one of the Chicago Harrisons. He was gorgeous, so was she. He was rich, so was she. He was also 25. She wasn't. She was still 18. She was going to Boston University in the fall. He wasn't.

There was something about Ryan. She had no idea what he did to make all the money that poured in. Money that didn't come from Daddy Harrison. She had a feeling it was illegal. Ryan dealt with shady people and a lot of young girls. But she shrugged it off. Her mom hated Ryan, or at least she did when she was sober, so Cammie stuck it out. But this was weird.

"Cammie." Ryan said forcefully. "I'm asking you to do me a favor. Just do it."

Cammie nodded.

"Great." Ryan said, his Mr. Niceguy image returning. "You ready, babe? The car will be here any second."

Cammie got up and sauntered out the office, her Gucci heels clicking against the floor of Ryan's apartment as she made her way towards the foyer. Ryan looked down at the photo. He leafed through his stack one more time.

Cammie was going to be his ticket to Olivia Benson.


	5. Chapter 5

Title: The Ties That Bind

Author: Sara and Lizzie

Rating: T for mild language, violence and sex

Disclaimer: We own nothing related to L&O. We can merely write fictious stories and curse Dick Wolf for teasing us.

**Author's Note: This is our second SVU fic. It's set before Elliot and Kathy's separation, but they are having problems. We want to set it straight that we know it's out of character, and Elliot would never cheat on Kathy. That's why we call it fan _fiction_. We're trying to keep their basic traits the same, but in our situation. So to the person who sent us the scathing email, get over it. The italics are a flashback, and the song is by Third Eye Blind. If you like it, REVIEW. Please, we're slaves to your opinions. **

"When you let me in, it's like a thousand julys."

June 13, 8:23 am

It was ungodly hot. It was too hot for June in New York City. The kind of heat that nothing could alleviate. Even the warm breeze just seemed to blow the heat between the buildings.

And that was hardly the only heat being thrown around. Elliot and Olivia hadn't so much as brushed their hands together in the last 2 days, and neither one of them was handling it well.

Olivia sipped her coffe and headed back into the station. There had been a call. Someone wanted to talk to someone. Specifically her. It was a girl, who sounded young, and she claimed to have a connection to the case.

But Olivia wasn't really thinking about the girl right now. She was thinking about not thinking about that raised eyebrow, smug you want me smirk that Elliot had just sent her. She didn't want to think about it, but of course, she couldn't stop.

She was defenseless now. If Elliot had any perception at all, he would see what she had been so desperatley hiding, and then she really wouldn't know what to do with herself.

"I don't like it." Elliot declared. "It's too convient. Odds are this guy lures us in by blowing up a warehouse. We find emails. He's targeting us specifically, and now, all of a sudden this girl just needs to talk to Olivia."

"What if the girl's legit?" Fin asked. "What if she really needs help?"

"What if she doesn't?" Elliot argued. "What if she's just bait?"

"What if you guys accepted that the only way to find out is to talk to her?" Olivia asked agitatedly. She jumped out of her desk, and barged into Cragen's office.

"Set me up with this girl."

* * *

Cammie threw a handful of curls over her shoulder as she sat in a nameless coffee shop off Broadway. She sighed heavily, thinking about how she could be on Madison, hunting for the perfect bag to go with her new Gucci miniskirt, but no. Instead, she was sitting here, waiting for this Olivia person, and why?

Maybe Ryan wasn't so worth it after all. Like there werent a million sons of ungodly rich men just waiting for her to notice them.

Fin entered the coffee shop first. There was a knockout, sitting at the table they had specified, who had to be Cammie. She was drinking a latte and playing with her hair in dignified way only bored rich girls could. In the van, Elliot threw his hands in the air. "She was definetly sent."

Olivia nodded curtly. She had to agree with him. Cragen looked at her expectantly. "Your call Liv."

Olivia nodded. "Elliot's right. I think she was sent. But I'm going. We've kept her waiting for almost forty minutes, and she's still here. There's something besides loyalty making her stay."

She threw a pointed look at Elliot and got out of the van. Elliot's jaw loosened a little bit. What the hell was she trying to say? He turned indignantly to Cragen.

"You're not going to let her go in there."

"She just did."

* * *

Fin was surprised to see Olivia storm into the coffee shop and close in on their mark. She sat down haughtily.

"Cammie Cooper." She said definitively. "I'm Olivia Benson." Cammie nodded.

Olivia sighed. "Now, you called me here. And at the expense of my very valuable time and resources, I came. And as much fun as it would be to sit around drinking lattes and discussing your spectacular Chloe jeans, we both have more important things to do, so let me cut to the chase."

Cammie blinked and for a minute looked like she might say something, but instead let Olivia continue. "Here's the thing Cammie Cooper." Olivia said patronizingly. "We know you were sent here. By who?"

"Ryan Harrison." Cammie blurted without thinking about it. "What the hell is going on?"

"Ryan Harrison." Olivia mused. "Now I'll assume that Ryan Harrison is your friend. Your cousin. Your brother. Or your boyfriend. In which case I'm afraid for you Cammie."

Olivia could see that it was working. Cammie's eyes widened. "Ryan's been into drugs, Cammie. I'm sure you knew that he was using or buying or dealing or mayeb all three. But what you probably didn't know is that Ryan is an extreme sociopath. He plants drugs on teenage girls. He gets them hooked. Then he uses them to run drugs. Or as whores. He's all about the money Cammie. We've got him tied to homicide and rape and arson, and a whole list of charges, but we need more time and more information."

Cammie sat up straighter. "You know I'm just going to tell him everything you say."

Olivia smiled. "Why Cammie? Because you want to hear him deny it? Even though deep down, you know it's true?"

Cammie sighed, but didn't show any emotion. Olivia looked at her watch. "Cammie, listen to me. This may be the last time we can meet without Ryan listening in on us, and he might be now, so come close." Cammie shifted her head towards Olivia.

"This is what you have to do." Olivia whispered. "Pay attention. Find out anything and everything you can for me. If you see photos, or documents, bring them. I'll meet you here in two days. Same time."

Both women rose. "Cammie, be careful."

* * *

"Are you out of your god damn mind, Olivia?" Elliot asked, slamming the door to the crib.

The ride home in their squad car had been silent. No cell phones, no radio, and above all no speaking. Elliot had gripped the whell so hard his knuckles turned white, and Olivia had watched him, trying not to see him like something she still wanted.

They had gotten back before anyone else, and he had practically dragged her into the crib, and promptly exploded.

"This guy is crazy Liv. He's dangerous and powerful and for whatever reason, he has it out for us. Somehow, giving him a direct path to us doesn't seem smart."

"Maybe it's the other way around, Elliot." She said. "I got to this girl. She was understanding me."

His face softened and when he spoke again, his voice was quiet. "Liv, it's just that I.." he trailed off.

She stoood there, waiting for him to say more. He didn't.

"Elliot, don't waste our time with these half sentences. If you have something to say, then say it. If not, don't try to make this easier by pretending that you care so much."

She crossed her arms and waited. He stared at her, but didn't say anything. She looked back at him, and cast her eyes downward, looking almost disappointed.

"That's what I thought."

It was Olivia's turn to slam the door.

* * *

"I want everything there is to know about Ryan Harrison on this wall in four hours." Cragen said. "This is top level."

"Whats the rush?" Munch asked.

Cragen's brow furrowed. "Last night, two girls disappeared outside a club in the village. They're former classmates of Cammie Cooper's. Just graduated from Trinity."

"Jesus." Someone muttered.

"Fin, I want you in Narcotics. Explain why this is still our case, but get all they got on Harrison, or anyone connected to him. Munch, go through all of our files. Him, and anyone he worked with. When you're done with these, there are four other boroughs that you can work in."

"Because I love Queens so much." Munch said, rolling his eyes.

"Benson, and Stabler. Find out everything you can about Jessica Davis and Brittany Richards."

Hours had passed. Literally hours. Hours of driving around in the unbearable heat, with Olivia staring straight ahead. Hours of not speaking. Hours of tense questioning and dead ends.

Finally, they reached the car after questioning the employees of the night club outside of which Jessica and Brittany had disappeared. Olivia opened her door and prepared to slide in and stare out the window.

"I'm worried."

Her head snapped up. "What I was going to say earlier. I'm worried about you. These guys arent fucking with us. They're serious."

They stared at each other over the top of the sedan, and Olivia could tell that he wanted her as badly as she wanted him. He looked down, and then back at her.

The silence was different on the way back. It was a charged silence. The silence that stems from being in car with the only other person who could raise your tempature when it's already nintey five degrees outside.

The silence that's birthed by the knowledge that the forbidden you want, is exactly what you're about to get.

* * *

"This is bad." Elliot murmured into the phone. "Really bad." He paused, then forged ahead. "Maureen. Have you ever heard about, or uh, been to any parties where girls wound up with bags of drugs on thier person?"

Maureen Stabler, distracted by the brochures of Columbia's Study Abroad: Rome program, absenmindly told her father she hadn't.

"What's Kathleen doing tonight?"

"Nothing, Dad. I'll tell Mom you wont be home."

Their conversation ended shortly after, and Elliot looked down at his desk to see a key sitting on it. He could only see the Olivia's back as she sauntered away, but he didn't need to see her face to know she was grinning.

"Problem." Cragen's voice cut through the squad room.

'Damn it.' Olivia thought to herself. It had been such a smooth exit until then.

"I just talked to Cammie Cooper on the phone. She says she knows Ryan is responsible for Jessica and Brittany' disappearance. She's scared, but she wants to stick it out, because she trusts you, Olivia."

Olivia nodded grimly.

"Ryan's hosting a party at a club in the Village tonight. I want you both there at one. No mercy. Any girl with Ryan's drugs on her, whether she knows about them or not comes in and gets booked and treated like a suspect. You can be hard asses about this."

* * *

Cragen told them to go home. Olivia did, but she knew she wouldn't sleep. It hadn't dipped below ninety degrees yet, but she gave up on her feeble air conditioning system and flung her windows open.

She sat down on her couch, unable to do anything but sit there with baited breath. Her body tensed and relaxed almost simultaneously when she heard the car door slam outside. She knew who, out of a city full of people, was coming to her door.

It was way too hot for ten thirty at night. Manhattan was steaming, and when Elliot Stabler let himself into Olivia Benson's apartment, it only fueled the fire.

It was way too hot for this city, and way too hot for her small apartment. As the two detectives undressed each other, and released days of pent up tension, the tempature seemed too rise.

It was almost too hot for the confused and the ineligible to handle.


	6. Chapter 6

Title: The Ties That Bind

Author: Sara and Lizzie

Rating: T for mild language, violence and sex

Disclaimer: We own nothing related to L&O. We can merely write fictious stories and curse Dick Wolf for teasing us.

**Author's Note: This is our second SVU fic. It's set before Elliot and Kathy's separation, but they are having problems. The italics are a flashback, and the song is by Guster. This might just be a oneshot. But we have ideas to continue, so if you like it, REVIEW. Please, we're slaves to your opinions. **

**And what you wish for,  
****It won't come true. **

June 14th

Mere exsistence tends to get tiresome after you've been doing it day after day for years on end.

Kathleen Stabler was, to put it lightly, bored. Bored out of her fucking mind, she liked to say. She was tired of being a good girl. Conflict raged. She was the daughter of a Catholic cop, but her rebellious side was dying to come out.

Rebellion won her over that night. There was a party in the village. She was seventeen. She could drive. She could borrow the car. She could say they were going to be at Heather's house.

She could lie. They could go to the village. They could drink. They could dance. Hell, she could kiss a boy or two. Have fun for once.

Kathleen Stabler tossed her hair and headed to the kitchen to tell her Mom she was would be at Heather Flynn's house.

Rebellion was nice.

* * *

Elliot Stabler was questioning his sanity. He was on the bottom floor of a village townhouse, who's owner was, at this point unknown. He was surrounded by gyrating kids on all sides. No one seemed to notice that he was even there. Irritating but useful at the same time.

He looked up across the crowded room and made eye contact with a pair of sultry eyes. Scratch that. Someone notice he was there. Someone who boldly bit her lip and met his gaze. He shivered a little bit. Someone who had been underneath, and then on top of him not two hours ago.

Olivia turned and walked up the staircase, knowing that Elliot's eyes were still fixed on her. She smiled to herself and tried to knock him out of her head, tried to focus. She stood against a wall and blended. It's not like any of these drunk, hormonal teenagers noticed she was there anyway.

She tried to look for Ryan or anyone she recognized. She tried to look for Cammie, or anyone. But she kept replaying certain scenes from her bedroom in her mind's eye and actually found herself against that wall blushing.

It was ridiculous in every sense of the word. Ridiculous to pretend this was all fun and casual, that he wasn't married and utterly unattainable.

Except that she had attained him, she mused to herself, torn between triumph and disgust. A flash of blonde hair caught her eye.

She watched, with intrigue as the head tossed and laughed. Her bottom tooth sunk into her lip. There was something so distinctly smug about that laugh, that it made her look twice.

* * *

Kathleen Stabler was laughing at something a cute boy from Fordham said to her. Never mind that he was a sophomore at the affluent Bronx college and she was barely seventeen years.

Suddenly, before she got a chance to respond, she felt a firm grip on her arm. She let herself be led to a corner of the room, and when her kidnapper turned, she saw the face of Olivia Benson.

"Olivia?"

"Kathleen, what the hell are you doing here?"

"What are you doing?"

"Kathleen, have you been drinking?"

She looked down guiltily. "Not much."

Olivia closed her eyes and then reopened them quickly. "Kathleen, listen to me. This is the worst place you can be right now. Did you talk to anyone about anything personal?"

Kathleen tried to think. "Some girl and I were talking at the bar before it got so crazy. She just asked my name and about me and stuff. All I said was where I live and that my dad's a cop."

Olivia closed her eyes for a while this time, offering a silent prayer that the girl was not working for Ryan.

Her cell phone rang above the din. "Benson."

"Liv!" she heard Elliot shouting above to noise. "They just forcibly removed a girl. We're shutting this down before it gets ugly. We move on your go."

Olivia snapped off her phone, and for the first time, Kathleen saw the telltale hint of a bulletproof vest under her shirt and realized that this must have been serious.

Worldlessly, Olivia began checking Kathleen's pockets. In the back right pocket of her low rise Gap jeans, Olivia pulled out a small plastic bag filled with opulent white powder.

"Shit." She muttered. "Kathleen go." Olivia summoned her knowledge of the floor plan. "Walk two rooms back, and there's a fire escape."

"You're going to have to tell my dad aren't you?"

"Kathleen, you need to get out of here now." Olivia raised her police issue walkie talkie to her mouth. "This is Benson. It's a go." She pocketed the bag from Kathleen's pocket, and pulled out her gun.

* * *

Olivia was bent over her desk, with her head in her hands. The squad room was full of teenagers waiting to be interviewed. She needed a break. Elliot meandered over to her. "What is it?" he asked.

She lifted her head from her fingers and sighed, guessing that she might as well just get it over with now.

"I need to tell you something." She said, getting up.

Years of working side by side, forty, fifty, sixty hours a week told her that he was following her to the roof. Days of sleeping with him told her that he was watching her in a different way.

It was three am. The roof was spilling with moonlight, and impulsively, Elliot kissed her. It momentarily caught her off guard and made her forget why she had come up here in the first place.

"Kathleen was at the party." She blurted out as she pulled away. She groaned inwardly. 'Way to sugarcoat it, Liv.' She thought.

Elliot smiled. "Trust me. I thought every blonde there was one of the girls."

Olivia shook her head. "I talked to her." She watched her partner plae in comprehension.

"Is she here?" he asked frantically. "Did someone question her?"

She grabbed his arm. "El." She said calmly. "Of course she's not here. I got her out through the fire escape. After I found this."

She pulled the plastic bag out of her pocket. Elliot closed his eyes. She put a hand on his chin, and lifted his face so their eyes would lock. When Elliot opened his eyes, they were staring into hers.

"I'm taking it to Warner." She whispered. "I need to know if they were targeting you."

She didn't say her. As in Kathleen. Because her primary concern had since shifted to Elliot. He looked stunned. Stunned because his daughter was there. Stunned because she had defied orders so blatantly she could lose her badge. Stunned because this meant something he wasn't ready to face.

"Thanks." He whispered.

"Anytime." She said, meaning it more than he cared to comprehend.

He slipped a hand in hers. It was shaking for more reasons than one. She squeezed it on the moonlit roof, begging the question to those stars. How much longer until she lost him?

* * *

What a mess, she observed, pushing a few loose strands of hair behind her ears. She was such a perfectionist that usually that blonde ponytail was immaculate, but now there really wasn't time. Thirty one girls who had been basically forced into working for Ryan were now in holding cells. For the most part because they needed protection and the crib wasn't big enough.

The total of missing girls was up to six, and Cammie was no where to be found. It didn't help that two of the precincts best detectives had fallen victim to a relentess cycle of taking, having and self loathing. The rest of the squad was aware something was wrong, but no one could put a finger on what it was.

Except for Alex. Maybe it was because she was the female that had known them the longest. Or maybe she was just the most perceptive. But as she stood in the corner of the room, glasses on, and ponytail slightly askew, she could watch them.

Olivia looked at Elliot, Elliot looked at Olivia. They both looked down, one set of guilty eyes, one set of ashamed ones. It surprised Alex, how they never stopped this little dance.

* * *

June 17th.

Two fucking twenty two in the morning, Elliot thought as his brain registered the red glaring from his alarm clock. He didn't think he had really slept more than a few minutes, and he knew he wouldn't sleep anymore. He felt a familiar restlessness start in his feet and creep thorugh him.

There was only one thing he wanted, and it wasn't sleeping next to him. Feeling almost sick with guilt, Elliot crept out of bed, dressed silently, walked to the kitchen, and picked up the phone.

* * *

She smiled. It was a bittersweet smile. Triumphant, yet hollow. As hard as she tried, she couldnt stop the adrenaline that rushed through her body.

"Benson." she whispered, more out of habit than of needing to say it.

The other line was quiet, but she knew who it was. She waited, but still he said nothing.

"You're not sleeping?" he asked.

"Tried." she said, with a slow smile. "But the city's a little too bright tonight."

"Sounds like a good night to be in Manhattan."

"You've got a key."


	7. Chapter 7

Title: The Ties That Bind

Author: Sara and Lizzie

Rating: T for mild language, violence and sex

Disclaimer: We own nothing related to L&O. We can merely write fictious stories and curse Dick Wolf for teasing us.

**Author's Note: This is our second SVU fic. It's set before Elliot and Kathy's separation, but they are having problems. We want to set it straight that we know it's out of character, and Elliot would never cheat on Kathy. That's why we call it fan _fiction_. We're trying to keep their basic traits the same, but in our situation. So to the person who sent us the scathing email, get over it. The italics are a flashback, and the song is by Third Eye Blind. If you like it, REVIEW. Please, we're slaves to your opinions. **

"Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't know how to back down."

June 17, 3:13 am  
Midtown, Manhattan

What a tangled web it was. Had it ever been simple? Probably not. Even when it appeared simple on the surface, there were too many repressed feelings and hidden desires for simplicity.

But at least it hadn't been this complicated. It was ironic, almost to a poetic point that Olivia, who flew through men, and couldn't seem to keep one long enough to learn his middle name, had found destruction, not in that viscious cycle, but in the one she had always wanted.

Kathy Stabler rolled over in the bed that was usually occupied by two.

Olivia Benson dug her nails into the back of the other occupant. She even let herself fall asleep next to him. She was absorbed in the tumultuous mess she was living in.

June 17, 9:34 am  
Madison Avenue  
Upper East Side

Elliot was tense. Olivia was meeting Cammie in an upper East Side coffee shop across the street from the Chloe boutique. Elliot stopped her on the street outside.

"Olivia."

She refused to meet his eyes.

"If they're onto you…" he trailed off. He saw her eyes drop to the sidewalk.

"We don't know how much this has been compromised…" he tried again.

He sighed and rolled his eyes at himself. He put his hands on her cheeks, and brought her face up to meet his. "Liv, look at me." He commanded. "I'm worried, ok? I' ll be right outside."

He brought his hands down and locked them in hers. "If anything, anything seems wrong, you get out and you get to me." He said, pointing to the unmarked sedan he would be sitting in.

She nodded resolutley. "Yes sir."

He smiled, and she smiled. Then she disappeared.

The severity of the case hit Olivia like a ton of bricks. Six of Cammie's friends had gone missing, and Olivia was sure that if Ryan knew she was talking to the police, she'd be next.

"Cammie, how did this happen?" she asked, careful to talk into the concealed microphone so Elliot could hear everything.

"I have no idea. Ryan's a Chicago Harrison. His family's loaded. I don't know how this happened."

"How did you and Ryan happen?"

"We met at a party one of my girlfriends had in a loft in Chelsea. It was a huge thing, and he's a Harrison, so it made total sense he'd be there, and we just had this connection. So anyway, we ended up sleeping together, and things just escalated. I thought he was perfect. And my mom hated him, so that was good."

"Your mom hating him should have been a bad sign."

"She hated him when she was sober enough to realize she had a daughter who has a boyfriend. So she didn't really hate him all that much."

"Cammie, look at me." Olivia commanded, sounding very much like Elliot had several minutes earlier. "This guy is good. He probably knows that we're meeting, so we're both taking big risks. Breaking it off with him now would be a danger to you, but when this is all over, you need to get out."

Cammie nodded. "Hopefully he'll be in prison, and it won't be such a problem." Olivia picked up the folders that Cammier had compiled on her missing friends.

"Thanks for these. I'll be in touch."

June 17, 5:15 pm  
The 1-6

Olivia stood up and stretched. She had been practically living at the precinct since they got this case, and when she wasn't there, she wasn't exactly sleeping. She had been running on caffiene, adrenaline, lust and guilt. Maybe if she went home alone tonight and slept for more than three hours, things would make more sense tomorrow. She looked at Elliot pretending not to look at her.

Or maybe not.

She sat back down and leaned over her desk to whisper to him. "Hey you." She said softly. "Go home. You look awful."

"Thanks." He said. "You don't."

She couldn't help letting the corners of her lips turn up. "Thanks." She put her hand on her desk, and he put his hand on his own, close enough so their fingertips lightly touched.

She was only touching an inch of him, but she felt sparks all the same. Cragen emerged from his office, followed by Alex and Casey. The detectives rose quickly and gathered their things.

"I'm afraid no one is going anywhere just yet." Cragen announced. Olivia eyed him quizzically, with a bad feeling in her stomach. "Cammie Cooper is missing. Didn't show up for her doctor appointment or her shopping date. No one can get in touch with her. She was last seen going into Ryan Harrison's apartment."

* * *

Olivia leaned against Elliot's desk. She stared at the board that held Ryan's photo, as well as those of the missing girls, Cammie now included. She clutched a cup of coffee, and listened to Huang.

"We're playing by his rules now. Ryan is a control freak. He made sure that we would have to follow his lead. The only thing he didn't count on was Olivia's relationship with Cammie."

Olivia nodded. "I did what I had to do."

"I just want to warn you that Ryan is very aggressive. He will come after anyone who threatens his control."

Elliot visibly tensed.

Cragen folded his arms over his chest. "None of this makes any sense."

Olivia shook her head. "It makes perfect sense. I pushed her too far. Now she's a player. Her psycho boyfriend is using her against us."

"That's what I don't get." Cragen countered. "Why this unit?"

No one knew the answer.

* * *

They sat down in Cragen's office, in front of his desk.

"I don't want to make this an issue, but you two are the primary detectives on this case, and I want you to be aware." He stated frankly. "Watch your backs. Watch each other's back."

They stared at him. Elliot nodded resolutely. "I don't like this guy. He's good. Don't underestimate him." Cragen said as a parting, and walked out, leaving them in his office.

They sat in silence, until Elliot turned toward Olivia.

"He's right you know. It's a big catch 22." Elliot said, "There's no way we can get this guy."

Olivia bit her lip and didn't say anything. Everything Huang had said about this guy was running through her mind.

"There's a way." She said. Elliot raised his eyebrows. "I'll plant myself as a decoy." It was silent for a long time. Elliot looked at Olivia, and instead of looking down, Olivia looked back, defiantly at Elliot.

They were in this now. The first time you can write off as a mistake. The second time, a relapse. By the time you're sneaking around the way they were, you were in it. "No." Elliot said, standing up, "Absolutley not."

She stood up to meet his eyes. "Give me one good reason why not."

"It's a death trap!"

"It's the only way to get to those girls."

"No." Elliot said, louder this time.

"You can't tell me what to do, Elliot."

"Olivia, I'm your partner. We both know this isn't safe."

"It's a neccesary risk." She said, getting heated. "You like risks, you should understand it."

Elliot's eyebrows hit the ceiling, and Olivia fought to stop herself from outwardly cringing. That was low. "Liv, we've been over-"

"No we have not." She corrected through gritted teeth.

"I can't explain it."

"Obviously!"

Their voices raised each time they spoke, and Olivia was clenching her fists.

"You try to!" he shouted at her. She said nothing, merely standing opposite of him and glaring in response to a question that would destroy her to answer.

"See?" he demanded.

"Jesus, Elliot." She burst out. "You're so lost in the forest, I don't think you can even see the trees." She slammed her hand down on Cragen's desk.

"You're mad. I get it." Elliot said.

"I'm not mad." She screamed, proving herself wrong. "But I'm going to plant myself as the decoy."

"Oh that's great Liv, just great." Elliot yelled. "Get yourself killed, to what? To spite me?"

"Oh, shut up, Elliot, you know that's not what this is about. It doesn't have to be about you."

"Am I the one way making it that way?"

"I want to save those girls." She hissed.

"You promised me you wouldn't get like this."

"Well we all break promises, dont we El?" she spit out. It was another low blow, and it hit Elliot where it hurt.

"Fine." He shouted. "Fine. You want to be the decoy? Be my guest, Liv. Go ahead. You know what? I'll be glad to help you out."

"Don't strain yourself."

"Oh no. You want to be the hero. The decoy. Go ahead."

"I plan on it. I'll try not to get myself killed to spite you."

"It might simple things up for me if you did." Elliot yelled. Olvia fell silent, letting what he said wash over her. She blinked twice, eyes wide. And then, finally she cast them to the floor. "Liv..."

"Shut up."

"Olivia. You know I didn't mean.."

"Elliot." She said, her voice, and cold.

"I wasn't…."

"I dont care." she said, her voice cold and cutting. "I have to go tell Cragen that I'll be working on making things simpler for you."

"Thats not what I meant."

"Sounded like it."

"Olivia, please." He pleaded. All he got was a slamming door.

Alex found her outside, several minutes later, looking despondent. "You want to tell me what that was all about?"

Olivia was silent for a long time. Finally she looked over at Alex. "Imagine you're doing something so wrong, it makes you sick. And even though you know how bad it is, you keep doing it because it means you'll get five more minutes to see him. You tell me what that's all about, and there's your answer."

It was Alex's turn to be silent. She watched Olivia, a bizarre mix of fragility, arrogance and ego. "That's love, Liv." She whispered. "That's love."

That was not what Olivia had wanted to hear. She wanted Alex to tell her this was a complicated mix of lust and competitiveness. But she had said what it was. It was love.

It had never been, and it never would be simple.


	8. Chapter 8

Title: The Ties That Bind

Author: Sara and Lizzie

Rating: T for mild language, violence and sex

Disclaimer: We own nothing related to L&O. We can merely write fictious stories and curse Dick Wolf for teasing us.

**Author's Note: This is our second SVU fic. It's set before Elliot and Kathy's separation, but they are having problems. We want to set it straight that we know it's out of character, and Elliot would never cheat on Kathy. That's why we call it fan _fiction_. We're trying to keep their basic traits the same, but in our situation. So to the person who sent us the scathing email, get over itIf you like it, REVIEW. Please, we're slaves to your opinions. **

"The best part of believe is the lie." -Fall Out Boy

Olivia tuned Alex's voice out, and pulled into herself, only occasionally catching words like affair or cheating.

"What exactly did he say to you?"

"That it would, uh, simple up his life if I happened to go down in the line of duty." She said, fighting to keep her eyes from welling up. Repeating it was like a slap in the face.

"So you're sleeping with him?"

Olivia opened her mouth in protest, about to deny it, but then she faltered. What was the point? Instead of saying anything, she shrugged.

Alex rolled her eyes. "Enough of the bullshit, Olivia. It's a yes or no question."

"Yes!" She said. "I'm sleeping with him. He doesn't give a shit about any of it. Happy?"

"You think he doesn't give a shit about any of it? Come on Olivia."

Olivia didn't say anything. Alex pressed her. "Liv, how did this happen?"

"I really wish I knew." She said, a few tears finally spilling over, and rolling down her cheeks.

Alex started talking again, and again, Olivia tuned her out. She was sick of feeling this way. Elliot's earlier comments were knife like to her insides and she just wanted it to stop. She waited until she found that perfect place of emotional numbness, that place she could feel nothing, but pretend to feel anything.

She found it, got up, and walked back inside the precinct, leaving a floored Alex Cabot in her wake.

* * *

Elliot sighed. He felt like the outsider. Olivia was huddled in Cragen's office with their Captain, Fin and Huang. Undoubtedly, when they returned to the bullpen, they would tell the rest of the unit what they had decided would be there course of action, and Elliot would have no choice but to go along with it.

His own voice echoed in his head. "It might simple things up for me if you did." He winced, remembering how cold she was after that. The door opened. His head snapped up as she headed straight past him towards the door.

He turned his questioning eyes to the Captain.

"She's got an idea Elliot."

"It's not safe, Cap." Elliot warned his back, as he retreated to Huang and his office. Elliot dropped his head into his hands. Several minutes later he felt a prescense at his desk.

"She went to the roof." Alex told him in a low voice. "You're going to regret it if you don't at least talk to her."

* * *

Of course he would come up here. It wasn't in his nature to let her walk away. He had to be the hero and patch it all up. Like it was the next Trojan war, full of torrid, angst ridden love. Well she wouldn't let him.

"Liv…"

She whirled around, saying nothing. Her feelings were all over the charts, from confrontational, to regretful, to lustful. She settled for the last one, and took a step toward him.

They stared at each other, and this time, it was definetly Olivia who crushed her lips on Elliot's. She kissed him, and hated him at the same time. They backed their way into the door they had both come through. Olivia pulled his shirt out of his waist band and raked her nails over the muscles in his stomach.

She pressed her body into his and smiled at his sharp intake of breath. She broke the kiss, and abruptly disentangled herself. Without a word, she walked away.

* * *

9:45 pm  
The 1-6

Cragen gathered them all. It was a solemn, quick meeting. Olivia and Elliot sat at their respective desks and pretended not to notice each other.

"I know we've had some mixed feelings about this." Cragen acknowledged. "I've struggled with it myself, seeing as Ryan Harrison made a girl disappear from a crowded city street in broad daylight. But it looks like our best option."

Elliot tensed, and locked eyes with Olivia, who, for all of her efforts, couldn't tear her gaze from his.

"From this point on," Cragen continued, "we don't know Cammie is missing. We never got the information. Tomorrow, we call her to set up a meeting bewteen her and Olivia."

Elliot's head shot up. "What in the hell makes you think Harrison is stupid enough to show up himself?"

Olivia swiveled her eyes to Huang and winced. "That's the other part of the plan." The doctor elaborated. "First we need to psychologically fixate him on Olivia."

That night, Olivia left the precinct unable to meet her partner's eyes.

* * *

12:56 am  
Manhattan  
The Apartment Of Olivia Benson

He rang the door bell again. He could see the lights on in her window. "Liv, let me in." He called. The windows to her apartment were open, and he could see her move past one.

"Olivia!" he hollered. "This is ridiculous. You have to talk to me!"

"The only thing I have to do in life, Elliot, is die." She said out the window, not caring that all of her neighbors and everyone on the street could hear her.

"You want to know what I see when I close my eyes, Liv?" he called. "I see you, standing in that warehouse, and him, going for the button, and I remember exactly how I felt when I realized you could die in there."

She didn't say anything, knowing if she did, he'd continue, and she couldn't take anymore of his gut wrenching honesty. Against her better judgement, she buzzed him up, and let him into the apartment.

"You know I didn't mean that." He said. His words triggered the explosion of rage she'd been supressing all day.

"Shut the hell up Elliot." She shouted. "I don't care what you meant. You said what you said."

"And I'm sorry for what I said, but I refuse to apoligize for being worried. Olivia, if something happened, I wouldn't, nothing would…" he trailed off, angering her further.

She felt a shiver creep into her veins even though it was ninety degrees. She half wanted to hear what he was trying to say, but a part of her just didn't want to know.

"You know that if I could explain this to you, I would. It's just that-"

She cut him off. She kissed him hard, and decisively, because even though it was hot, she couldn't get warm without him. He pulled back and opened his mouth. She kissed him again.

"I'm trying to talk to you." He hissed at her.

"And I'm trying not to fucking hate you right now, Elliot." She whispered back in a low tone. He hadn't been angry before but he let her rage fuel the fire. He lifted her up, and she hooked her legs around his waist. He headed for a wall, and pushed her back against it, rather roughly.

She responded by pulling down his zipper.

* * *

8:09 am  
The 1-6.

It was disorienting to wake up in a stranger apartment, alone. It was shameful to realize you were in the bed of the woman you slammed around last night, and even more so to remember how much you both got off on the said slamming.

It was gut wrenching to remember your wife was at home, convinced that you're working, but even more gut wrenching to think of not being that close to the vanished occupant of the bed again. It makes your head spin.

Elliot's head was still spinning when he walked into the precinct, and saw Olivia at her desk, calmly sipping coffee and chatting with Huang, as though nothing happened. She looked up and saw him and immediately looked down again, the only betryal that anything was off between them.

She turned her attention back to Huang and nodded firmly. He read her lips. "Tonight it is. I'll tell Elliot."

He waited for the doctor to leave before he moved purposefully towards her desk. "I need to talk to you."

She smiled brightly. "I don't think we have the time, or really, anything to say for that matter."

He lowered his voice. "Cut the bullshit Olivia. Outside, now."

She didn't budge. "Just give me five minutes." He pleaded. Grudgingly, she got up out of her chair and followed him. Once on the street, he looked down, and around at the buildings. Finally, after taking in the same scenery he saw every day, he looked at her.

"I'm sorry." He said in a voice that was barely more than a whisper.

"I can still hear you saying that." She whispered back.

Grabbing her hands in his, he searched for something to say. "You know I didn't mean it like that. I need you Liv. You are the last person I want taking chances with their life."

She didn't want to forgive him, not in the least, but suddenly there was a new echo in her head. This echo was saying, 'I need you Liv.' She squeezed his hands before extracting her own and heading back into the precinct.

Elliot was left standing on the street as the crowds simply moved around him. His eyes swept around in a daze, the revelation coming to him, not with parades and marching and seventy six trombones, but in a softer way, on a crowded city street.

And for the first time in a long time, Elliot Stabler understood why people wanted to come here. Why it was so tantilizing. He started to see the beauty under the grime, felt the energy rise up from the ssidewalks.

It was in that city, on that street, in that moment, that he knew. It came in the combination of fixing him, and tearing down his carefully built, Catholicism infused walls, but it was undeniable.

Friends, partners, lovers.

In the most full, complete, passionate way possible, he was in love with her.


	9. Chapter 9

Title: The Ties That Bind

Author: Sara and Lizzie

Rating: T for mild language, violence and sex

Disclaimer: We own nothing related to L&O. We can merely write fictious stories and curse Dick Wolf for teasing us.

**Author's Note: This is our second SVU fic. It's set before Elliot and Kathy's separation, but they are having problems. We want to set it straight that we know it's out of character, and Elliot would never cheat on Kathy. That's why we call it fan _fiction_. We're trying to keep their basic traits the same, but in our situation. So to the person who sent us the scathing email, get over itIf you like it, REVIEW. Please, we're slaves to your opinions. **

_**Hours pass, but she still counts the minutes that I am not there,  
**__**I swear I didn't mean for it to feel like this,  
**__**Like every inch of me is bruised.  
**__**-Jack's Mannequin**_

Olivia stepped out of the squad car, and left Elliot sitting in the passenger seat. She discreetly flashed her badge to the bouncer outside of Twenty One, and motioned in front of her.

"Ryan Harrison." She said, just before he entered the club. He turned around, with a bemused look on his face.

"Detective!" he said warmly, as though he were greeting an old friend.

"I'm looking for Cammie." Olivia said with the slightest edge ot her voice. "Haven't seen her around, have you?"

Ryan stepped away from his entourage, and moved toward Olivia. She could see the flash of anger in his eyes, and the change in his demeanor.

"I haven't seen her in a few days myself." He told her, not betraying his anger.

"Well," Olivia replied nonchalantly, "If you see her, let her know we need to talk."

She expertly raised an eyebrow. Elliot watched from the car, half worried and half amused, as she played him.

"Yea, I'll let her know you're on the look out."

Olivia looked him up and down. "You know what, Ryan?" she said. "Tell her to meet me. 11:30 tommorrow night. She knows the place."

Ryan grinned. "I'll pass on the message."

He moved towards the door. "Harrison." Olivia said, her tone changing from conversational to threatning. "You better be telling me the truth about this. Because I am just waiting for you to slip up. And the first mistake you make, believe me, I'll be there."

Ryan smiled again. "We'll see." He said, before slipping into the club.

Four blocks away, the car stopped moving in the traffic of the New York night life.

* * *

"Well." Elliot said, several blocks away,speaking for the first time.

"Well, we either baited him or we didn't." Olivia observed.

"You did good work."

"Thanks, Elliot."

They lapsed into silence. Olivia fiddled with her hands, thinking how it never used to be like this.

"I'm scared for you." Elliot said suddenly.

She turned and faced him, taken aback.

"What?"

"I'm scared for you, and of you, Liv. You think you're invincible, but this could go wrong, and I'm scared for you."

She fixed her attention on the road ahead of them. "I'm not."

* * *

The 1-6  
2:58 am

Olivia had barely blinked and suddenly she and Elliot were alone in the squad room. It felt like five minutes ago that they had left Ryan at the club.

Munch and Fin were canvassing for the sixth time. Cragen was out, pulling strings somewhere. They were desperate to find a slim ray of hope when it came to finding this guy and saving these girls, and Olivia couldn't even focus.

It was the most vicious of cycles. What had started to heal had begun to destroy. She should have known it would be like this. Once you admit to someone how broken you are, you only break a little bit more. The more they comforted each other, the more they needed the comfort.

The people that she Elliot were transforming into were never the people they were meant to be.

"You know, Cragen's only giving us until 5 to get back here. It's 3 am. Shouldn't you go home? You haven't been there in days."

Elliot didn't want to leave her like this. Her eyes were ringed with circles, and her voice sounded hollow.

"I'll stay with you."

"Elliot." Her voice broke. "You've got kids."

He moved quickly around his desk and put his arms around her. He rested his forehead on hers and kissed her, softly at first, and then with a little more passion. "I'll go home." He said. He kissed her again. "I'll be back by 4:30."

Olivia just nodded. He kissed her one more time, before getting his coat and leaving. She stood by her desk, watching his retreating back. She picked the coffee cup up from her desk and hurled it against the precinct wall, satisifed by it's shatter.

"I'm not going to pretend I didn't happen to see that enitre exchange." Alex said quietly, stepping out of Cragen's office.

Olivia shrugged and sank down in her chair. "He's married, Liv." Alex said.

"No kidding." Came the toneless reply.

"Why are you doing this to yourself?"

"You already told me Alex."

Cabot looked at her quizzically, disturbed by the lack of emotion she was showing.

"That's love Liv." She quoted.

"You are in love with him." Alex breathed. It wasn't a question or an answer, but it was out in the open all the same now.

Olivia smirked. "Sounds so simple."

Her phone started ringing, piercing the silence.

Alex listened, as she answered, and agreed to be somewhere right away.

"I've gotta go." Olivia rose and gathered her things.

"You're going to him, aren't you?" Alex questioned.

"God, Alex, at this point, what does it matter? There's no where else to go from here."

New York City's shining star of the court room had nothing to say in response.


	10. Chapter 10

Title: The Ties That Bind

Author: Sara and Lizzie

Rating: T for mild language, violence and sex

Disclaimer: We own nothing related to L&O. We can merely write fictious stories and curse Dick Wolf for teasing us.

**Author's Note: This is our second SVU fic. It's set before Elliot and Kathy's separation, but they are having problems. We want to set it straight that we know it's out of character, and Elliot would never cheat on Kathy. That's why we call it fan _fiction_. We're trying to keep their basic traits the same, but in our situation. So to the person who sent us the scathing email, get over itIf you like it, REVIEW. Please, we're slaves to your opinions. **

_**We're too cool to be alone,  
but not too crazy to get busted.**_

Olivia was gently pulled from sleep by the distant ringing of a phone. She blinked, realizing she was in Elliot's bed. Elliot and Kathy's bed. Kathy had taken her kids to Long Island to see her sister. She sighed, and got up, throwing the shirt Elliot had worn to work that day over her.

She got downstairs only to find their phones now silent. She stood in the cool silence of the Stabler's kitchen, feeling utterly and hopelessly alone. No matter how perfect it felt to be with Elliot, she was alone with him. He would inevitably abandon her, even if not by choice.

It was laughingly predictable the way she felt when he ambled into the room in his boxers.

"So there's my shirt."

She smiled softly, sadly. She knew that this was it. "It looks better on me."

He grinned his cocky grin. "That it does, Liv."

"Our phones were ringing." She said by way of explanation.

"It's almost six."

"Late."

"Early."

Her soft smile graced her lips again. The end of their affair was imminent and she felt it. "Elliot, I need to…"

She was cut off by ringing. He picked up a phone and tossed it to her, and answered the other.

"Hello?" Olivia answered.

"Hello?" he answered at the same time. He smiled at her, moved away and lowered his voice.

"Elliot?" came Cragen's voice from across the airwaves. "Why do you have Olivia's phone?"

Olivia blinked as an unfamiliar femlae voice asked for Elliot. No. It was a familiar voice, she just couldn't place it.

"Who is this?" Olivia asked, confused. If they wanted Elliot, why didn't they just call him.

Elliot's mind frantically searched for a way to distract his captain from the obvious. "Why are you calling Liv? Is something wrong?"

Cragen sighed. "Her plan worked too well, Elliot. Ryan was followed and busted. He led us to Cammie and we recovered her. An hour later left a nice little threat, along with a switchblade was on Olivia's desk."

"They got in the precinct?"

"God knows how."

"So she's in trouble?"

"Big trouble."

Across the room, Olivia was getting a cold sense of comprehension. "Is this Olivia?"

"Yes, who's this?"

"It's Kathy Stabler. You just answered my husband's phone."

Elliot's clever diversion had only unfocused Cragen for so long. "Elliot. Level with me. I sent you and Olivia home hours ago. What are you still doing with her?"

Elliot sighed, but couldn't bring himself to say anything.

Olivia was having the same kind of feeling. Why had she answered Elliot's cell phone at six am?

"Olivia, is Elliot with you? Is he okay?"

Olivia snapped her fingers in Elliot's direction. "He's fine Kathy."

Elliot's face paled. He fell silent in his conversation with the captain, as Kathys voice came through the phone and penetrated the silence. "Is he with you?"

Olivia said nothing. She waited for direction from Elliot, who's mind was racing. he noticed something. Kathy's voice seemed to coming closer. "I realized yesterday I forgot to pack bathing suits, and we'll need them today, so I'm right outside the house now. Elliot's car is here. Hello?"

The door opened. And in walked Kathy Stabler.

Olivia froze, mind racing. But as clever as she was at manipulating situations to suit her, she could think of no logical reason why she was in the Stabler's kitchen wearing the button down shirt Elliot had worn to work that day, and not much else.

Kathy's jaw dropped. Her car keys and cell phone hit the floor without seeming to make any noise. Olivia's eyes met Elliot's, and she expected to see anger, but it was that same old feeling. Like they were the only two people in the room.

She turned her focus back to Kathy. "Kathy, this-"

"Isn't what it looks like?" she asked, eeriely calm.

"I…" Olivia can barely speak. Finishing sentences are out of the question.

"Go." Kathy says, the picture of calm. Olivia manages to go back upstairs and pull her jeans on. She slides her feet into her shoes, and walks out the door, with Kathy and Elliot in the background. She was several yards away from their house, when Elliot came striding out the door in jeans and an ancient NYPD t-shirt.

Kathy was close behind him. "Elliot, if you leave now, you leave for good." Olivia winced. Elliot turned around and looked at Kathy for a long, long time. Finally, he turned and walked the rest of the way to his partner.

Kathy slammed the door so hard, Olivia was sure the house would fall. She felt her own jaw drop down.

"Cragen called you. They're threatning you, it's not safe."

"Are you crazy?" Olivia hissed, ignoring his urgent warnings. "That was an ultimatum Elliot. I can get to the damn precinct by myself."

Elliot shook his head. "I'm your partner, Liv."

"She's your wife! You don't have to do this El!" She was rambling now. "I understand what this is, and what it isn't. I can let it go. We'll go to Cragen. Switch partners. Maybe I'll transfer. We'll work it out, you can't just-"

"Liv, stop!" he said, cutting off her rambling. "We're not getting new partners. And you're not transferring." He jingled his cars keys in the air. "Just get in the car."

She shook her head. "I can't just let you walk out on your wife!"

He threw his hands in the air. "Olivia, I'm in love with you!" he shouted, "Now will you shut up, and get in the damn car?"

Olivia did shut up and get in the damn car, mostly because she was too shocked to do anything else. They drove to the precinct in total silence. It wasn't until Elliot parked the car, and they were standing on the shidewalk that Olivia spoke.

"What happens now?"

"I don't know." Elliot said truthfully.

Tears that Olivia refused to shed gathered in her eyes, and Elliot reached for her again. He pulled her to his chest and wrapped his arms around her. And then he heard the shots ring out.

Without thinking, he pulled her to the sidewalk, and instinctively covered her body with his. After the first shot came a second and a third, and then they subsided.

Elliot whispered to Olivia. "Get up, run inside. I'll be right behind you."

Moments later, they burst into the precinct, Elliot in his tattered tshirt and jeans, and Olivia still wearing his work shirt from yesterday.

Neither of them had expected to see Cragen, Munch, Fin, Huang and both ADA's standing there, staring at them. It was quiet as eyes shifted from Olivia to Elliot and back again. No one had anything to say, save for Alex, who already knew.

"We called you." She said. "You got a threat, so Casey and I called your cell. When you didn't answer we called Cragen, and he called your house, and then you didn't answer, so he called Munch and Fin…" she trailed off.

Olivia bit her lip and snuck a sidelong glance at Elliot. He returned the look, and without thinking, put his hand on the small of her back. Eye brows raised and scrunched, and Olivia looked at Cragen.

"How bad is it?"

"We should talk in my office."


	11. Chapter 11

Title: The Ties That Bind

Author: Sara and Lizzie

Rating: T for mild language, violence and sex

Disclaimer: We own nothing related to L&O. We can merely write fictious stories and curse Dick Wolf for teasing us.

**Author's Note: This is our second SVU fic. It's set before Elliot and Kathy's separation, but they are having problems. We want to set it straight that we know it's out of character, and Elliot would never cheat on Kathy. That's why we call it fan _fiction_. We're trying to keep their basic traits the same, but in our situation. REVIEW. Please, we're slaves to your opinions. **

_**She knew all the words that I never had, she knew the crumbled up promise of this broken down man.**_

"It's pretty bad."

"Don." She said. "Just tell me."

"They're offering you WPP."

"What?" she sputtered. "No. Absolutley not. I won't do witness protection."

He nodded. "Then you need to take some time off. Get out of the city. Really out of the city."

"How long?"

"Not long. Just until it's safe. Now let's talk about Elliot."

She tensed, and he waited. Neither of them spoke. Finally he could see Olivia's shoulders shaking, and her Captain knew she was crying.

He placed a comforting hand on her shoulder, but he could tell it wasn't helping. "I'm going to leave now, Liv. Use the phone, get things sorted out."

She regained her composure and picked up the phone, dialing the country code, and then the number she had memorized. Olivia Benson didn't keep many things from her childhood, but she did keep one best friend.

"Hello?" came the reply chiming through the airwaves.

"Claire, it's Olivia. I'm taking you up on that offer. I'm coming to stay for awhile."

* * *

The day passed in a blur, and before she knew it, the sun was setting on the city again. 

Olivia was sitting in an empty interregation room, staring at the glass. For a long time, Elliot stood unseen on the other side, staring back at her.

Finally he opened the door and went in. He pulled a chair around and sat in it, facing her.

"Liv."

"Elliot, this can't happen. Not like this."

"It's happened. It's all out in the open. Olivia, I know how wrong this was, but I can't help that I fell in love with you."

"Oh, Elliot, you didn't fall in love with me. You fell in love with the way you felt with me."

"Liv, I know my heart, okay?"

"What am I supposed to say, Elliot? Yes, throw away your life for me?"

"This isn't easy for me either."

* * *

Kathy Stabler had walked right into the precinct, and was wondering around looking for someone she recognized, or better yet, Elliot, when she found him. He was sitting in an interrogation room, facing Olivia, who had her head in her hands. 

She shouldn't be watching this, or listening to this, but she couldn't make herself move.

* * *

"Elliot, you have an out. I'll understand. Please take it." Her voice was frantic. "You can go to Kathy, tell her it was all a mistake." 

"No." he said, shaking his head. "I can't. It wasn't a mistake, and I won't take it back."

When she looked back up, she was crying. "They want me to go to Witness Protection, El."

"And you're going?"

"I couldn't. But Cragen told me I needed to get out of New York."

She stood up and started pacing. "What do I do?" she asked, looking more vulnerbale than she ever had. Elliot stood up and put his hands on her arms to stop her frantic movement.

She sank into him, and he put his arms around her, and whispered something into her hair that Kathy could only make out by reading his lips.

'I think I've always loved you.' is what he said.

* * *

Kathy turned around, unable to watch them cling to each other any longer. She saw Alex Cabot standing there, arms crossed. "Kathy," the ADA said, "he loves you." 

Kathy Stabler shook her head. "Not that like. No one falls in love like that more than once."

* * *

It was Elliot who drove Olivia back to her apartment. Elliot who watched, fighting tears as she packed her bags, and Elliot who made love to her on the bed. 

It was Elliot who drove her to JFK, and Elliot who waited with her.

It was Olivia that squeezed his hand like it was sustaining her until they called her to board the plane. It was Olivia who cried in his embrace, and it was Olivia that got on the plane.

It was Elliot who caught her last sad smile before she dissappeared onto the plane, and it was Elliot who's tears fell when she walked out of sight.

It was both of them that wished he had said what he wanted to before she got on that plane. It was both of them that wished he would have asked her to stay.

It was Olivia who, after a layover in Germany, landed in Rome eleven hours later, and was pulled into the arms of her life long best friend, still crying.

It was Elliot who drove home to Queens, walked in the house, and hugged his sobbing wife. It was Elliot who spent the next three months rebuilding his relationships with his children, and ending his marriage.

It was Olivia who sat on the Spanish steps thinking of him.

It was Elliot who stood on the roof of the precinct thinking of her.


	12. Chapter 12

Title: The Ties That Bind

Author: Sara and Lizzie

Rating: T for mild language, violence and sex

Disclaimer: We own nothing related to L&O. We can merely write fictious stories and curse Dick Wolf for teasing us.

**Author's Note: **This is our second SVU fic. It's set before Elliot and Kathy's separation, but they are having problems. We want to set it straight that we know it's out of character, and Elliot would never cheat on Kathy. That's why we call it fan _fiction_. We're trying to keep their basic traits the same, but in our situation. REVIEW. Please, we're slaves to your opinions.

**A Long time no see note from the authors: We were in Rome for two weeks, and upon returning somehow ended up in the Hamptons for a few days. But we're back for awhile now, and dedicating ourselves to updating our stories, including this one, "Just Another Gamble", "Streetlights and Skylines" and our newest, "La Dolce Vita". Please read them, love us, and review. **

"I'm drowning slowly, off the coast and I'm heading nowhere. "-Ben Folds

It had been fun at first. Whittling around Rome. Sipping coffee, shopping. Visiting all the places you're supposed to visit when you're in Rome. But now, a few months later, it was getting old. She felt that tug in her chest every time she saw something that reminded her of him, which was basically all the time.

She didn't talk to anyone from New York, except for the occasional check in with Cragen, and the not so occasional emotional wreck phone call to Alex. She had no contact with Elliot. Olivia sighed. Claire was out at some benefit for the project she was working on in conjunction with the Vatican museums and tours of Rome. Olivia had declined to come. She instead, hovered around her friend's downtown villa, flittering between the kitchen, the roof and her bedroom, unsure of where to go.

* * *

Thousands of miles, and a few time zones away, the 1-6 was quiet. There were three detectives sitting around their desks, waiting to catch a case. There was a forensic psychiatrist finishing up a file of paperwork, and two ADA's milling around without cases.

John Munch threw down is pen and looked at Elliot. "Is she ever coming back?" he asked, breaking the silence. The room shifted, from the lazy quiet, to a tense, charged kind.

No one said anything. The door to their captain's office open and shut as he appeared in their midst. "Who died?" he asked.

Munch looked up at him. "Is Olivia ever coming back?" he asked again, slowly this time, like he was talking to a young child.

Cragen shrugged. "I sure hope so."

"Where is she? Is it Witness Protection?"

"She refused the program. I asked her to take some time. I also asked her not to tell me where she was going."

"Well she could come back now, couldn't she?" Fin asked. "Harrison and his boys are in jail."

It was silent again. No one, not even Huang or Cragen, not even tactless John Munch knew what to say.

"She's in Rome." Alex said. "I've been talking to her. She's in Rome."

"Well, if it's safe…" Fin said.

Elliot sighed. "She's there because of me. Because of us. Because of me."

"Have you talked to her?"

He shook his head.

Munch cleared his throat. "Don't you think that would be a good idea? After breaking her down and driving her away?"

Elliot stood up so fast his chair hit the floor. For a minute, it looked like he might rip John apart, but instead he turned on his heel, and headed up to the roof.

* * *

Olivia walked up the via fori imperiali from the Coliseum to the Piazza Venezia, her favorite place in Rome. It had just stopped raining, and the air was warm. She sat in the tiny park across the street from the National monument of Italy, and looked at it, illuminated by lights and the moon.

She knew she was at the crossroads. She turned from the monument to the other side of the park, where the ruins of an ancient roman market crumbled. She could stay here. Or she could go somewhere else. Anywhere. The world was big.

Or she could go back to New York. For so long, that hadn't seemed like an option, but she knew she wanted to go to him. Talk to him. Fix them.

As much as she wanted it, she was afraid. She turned back to the monument, seeing a fair haired girl strolling down the street, hand in hand with a tall, dark haired boy, and surrounded by several other people. There was something familiar about this girl. Some vague notion of familiarity in her confident saunter. There was something Olivia knew in her cocky smirk.

The girl looked up, and her crystal blue eyes locked with Olivia's. Finally able to see her face she realized with a jolt that it was Maureen Stabler.

"Olivia." Maureen said, suddenly standing tall over the bench Olivia sat on. The detective rose to her full height, but still didn't know what to say.

"Maureen. You went abroad?"

"Obviously." She said coldly. Instantly she regretted it. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean for-"

Olivia cut her off. "No, you did, and I deserve worse. Jesus, Maureen, I can't even say I'm sorry, because it won't be enough."

"Maybe you shouldn't be apologizing to me."

"Trust me, your mom doesn't want to hear from me."

"You think I'm worried about your relationship with my mother? For God's sakes, Olivia. That's a burned bridge. It's my dad who's hanging on by a thread."

"What?" she whispered.

"This is killing him, Olivia. He loves you."

She was silent. Maureen looked at her sternly. "He. Loves. You." She said, drawing each word out slowly, as if Olivia couldn't understand what she was saying. "HE loves you, and he gave up everything to be with you!"

"I never asked him to do that. I told him to go back-"

It was Maureen's turn to cut her off. "You never asked him. He did it anyway. I should have known, really. He's been in love with for like, half of my life. And you're what? Sitting around Rome, staring whimsically at monuments? You're above this, Liv. Take it head on."

She reached out and squeezed Olivia's hand. Then she re-joined her friends on the sidewalk. Olivia sat, stunned. She had no idea what it was, but suddenly she knew. Maureen Stabler was right. Olivia Benson had been doing it all wrong.

Maureen continued down the street with her friends. When she looked back at the bench, Olivia was gone. Maureen raised her eyebrows and looked around her. There was something about this city.

* * *

Cabs were a waste of time in the traffic of a city that, at ten o'clock was just getting started. Olivia walked as quickly as she could through Rome. Her walk turned into a jog that was a full out sprint by the time she got home. She was on the phone, packed and in a cab to Leonardo da Vinci airport with a ticket to New York to be picked up before she Claire even returned home.

The sense of urgency that engulfed her was overwhelming. The plane flew through time zones, and Olivia sat stoically, drinking coffee, and trying to figure out what the hell she was going to do when she got back to New York.


	13. Chapter 13

Title: The Ties That Bind

Author: Sara and Lizzie

Rating: T for mild language, violence and sex

Disclaimer: We own nothing related to L&O. We can merely write fictious stories and curse Dick Wolf for teasing us.

**Author's Note: **This is our second SVU fic. It's set before Elliot and Kathy's separation, but they are having problems. We want to set it straight that we know it's out of character, and Elliot would never cheat on Kathy. That's why we call it fan _fiction_. We're trying to keep their basic traits the same, but in our situation. REVIEW. Please, we're slaves to your opinions.

**A Long time no see note from the authors: We were in Rome for two weeks, and upon returning somehow ended up in the Hamptons for a few days. But we're back for awhile now, and dedicating ourselves to updating our stories, including this one, "Just Another Gamble", "Streetlights and Skylines" and our newest, "La Dolce Vita". Please read them, love us, and review. **

"_We could just stay in and save each other." -Train_

She felt ridiculous. She wasn't afraid of perps or killers or serial rapists, but here it was, 4 AM on August thirty first, and all she could do was hover on corners between the precinct and Elliot's new Manhattan apartment. She was terrified to face him, terrified to wake him up, terrified to gauge his reaction.

So there she was slinking around Manhattan like the star of some film noir. All she really needed to complete her look was a cigarette and a trench coat. She sighed and headed up into the precinct to think.

Munch sat on the corner of his desk facing Fin, and their wall of photos and maps. Yesterday this place had been dead. Today, they had two dead girls, and a killer to find before he found another victim.

Fin studied the board, unable to come up with any similarities between the two girls. His eyes slid to the door as it opened, and in walked Olivia Benson.

"Shit." Fin said. "So much for a slow night."

She shifted her weight from one foot to the other, unsure of what to say to them now. Fin broke the silence.

"Damn, Liv. Been awhile but we don't bite."

She smiled at them and walked into the room. "Big case?"

"We got two bodies near the boat basin on 79th." Munch told her. "Two hours after we found Jane Doe number, number two's body was left in her place."

"How long ago was that?"

"About two hours."

"Anyone down there?"

Fin nodded. "Elliot."

Olivia nodded. "Right." She said, seeming to let it go. "By himself?"

Munch nodded. "The girls were about Kathleen's age. Made him a little touchy."

The fleeting look of panic on Olivia's face did not go unnoticed by either male detective. "Liv, he's a big boy. He's got backup." Munch told her.

She nodded, and smiled tentatively. "It's really good to see you guys."

"Glad you're back, Benson." Fin said, grasping her shoulder.

"Elliot missed his second checkpoint. He's cut off contact." Cragen barked, emerging from his office.

Olivia walked up to him and held out two hands. He blinked at her, twice as if not believing she was there, and then he realized what she wanted. He hurriedly unlocked a drawer in his office, and handed placed her badge and gun in her hands.

Before anyone could say anything, she was sprinting out the precinct doors.

* * *

Olivia wasn't sure what to do. Elliot had the sedan. She burst through the doors and hailed the first cab she saw. "79th street boat basin, as fast as possible." She said, flashing her badge.

As the cab sped off into the night, she suddenly felt a new kind of fear. The fear of rejection was replaced by something more familiar. The fear she felt every time they went after a perp. One of these days Elliot's impulsive rage was going to be his downfall.

She steeled herself against her thoughts. Not tonight.

She jumped out of the cab on Riverside Drive. There wasn't much lighting around the boat basin, and she was afraid to call Elliot and draw attention to him so she just started walking.

Her eyes adjusted to the dark and she scanned as far as she could see. Every twig that snapped made her jump…

* * *

Elliot was leaning against a wall, watching the spot where the bodies had been dumped. He knew he was overdue to call Cragen, who had no doubt realized that he had left his back up behind.

He heard anoise, and snapped to attention. He saw an unrecognizable figure in the distance. As it drew closer, he realized it was a man, pulling a struggling girl. With a sick realization, it hit Elliot. He wasn't bringing the bodies here. He was killing them here.

Without thinking, he rose from his hiding place. "Stop!" he called out. He was reaching for his gun when he realized he was staring down the barrel of one.

In the commotion, the girl had torn free and was running as fast as she could towards Riverside Drive. Her captor, however, had his finger on the trigger of the gun that was aimed, point blank, at Detective Stabler's chest.

* * *

It felt so fast to Olivia. She heard Elliot's voice yell, and then she saw a girl running back towards the city. And then, it seemed to go in slow motion. She saw the gun pointed at Elliot's face. Her basic instincts kicked in and she reached for her own gun, and without thinking, aimed….

* * *

Elliot was positive he was going to die. He had been in bad situations before, but this was a first. Completely alone, one on one with a killer and a murder weapon. He couldn't do anything clever with his police issued Glock, because he would get shot. He couldn't hit the guy or run, because he would get shot.

He couldn't move his eyes from the trigger. He saw the man's finger tense, and Elliot Stabler offered one last Hail Mary as he heard the shot.

* * *

She fired.

* * *

Elliot closed his eyes, waiting for the burst of pain in his chest, but it never came. When he dared to look again, the man was on the ground, and a few yards behind him, stood Olivia, gun in hand.

For a second, Elliot thought he was hallucinating, or that he had died, and was in some sort of afterlife. He shook his head as the figure strode toward him angrily. He felt her hand on his cheek, and it shook him out of his dream like state.

"What the fuck are you doing, Elliot?" She shouted. "Did you want to get yourself killed?"

He wanted to ask her a thousand questions. He wanted to hold her, he wanted to kiss her. But the roar of sirens and the ringing of her phone stopped him from answering her only inquiry. It was only the sting on his cheek that kept him convinced this was really happening.

* * *

Olivia accepted the replacement gun from Cragen, along with his promise that hers would be returned soon. She paced his office angrily.

"I could kill him." She muttered.

Cragen raised his eyebrows. "Fuentes would have if you hadn't been there."

She shook her head. "I don't know what he was thinking."

Cragen leaned over his desk and looked at Olivia for a long time. "Maybe it would help if you asked him."

Olivia knew he wasn't just talking about Elliot's latest stunt. "I am home." She responded.

The captain nodded. "And I couldn't be happier to see you. Let me deal with him for now."

Elliot met her eyes as soon as she left the office. She jerked her head behind her to indicate that it was his time to face the consequences. She winced when she heard the simultaneous click of the door and the thundering of Cragen's angry voice.

Elliot emerged half an hour later to find the squad room empty, Munch and Finn were nowhere to be seen, and most importantly, Olivia was gone.

He heard rain hitting the roof of the precinct and was taken back to the night at the beginning of June, the night he had shown up on her door step, as out of control as he was now.

He left at an all out sprint.


	14. Chapter 14

Title: The Ties That Bind

Author: Sara and Lizzie

Rating: T for mild language, violence and sex

Disclaimer: We own nothing related to L&O. We can merely write fictious stories and curse Dick Wolf for teasing us.

**Author's Note: **This is our second SVU fic. It's set before Elliot and Kathy's separation, but they are having problems. We want to set it straight that we know it's out of character, and Elliot would never cheat on Kathy. That's why we call it fan _fiction_. We're trying to keep their basic traits the same, but in our situation. REVIEW. Please, we're slaves to your opinions.

**Author's Note: So this chapter was up, and then we read with the rest of the story and realized that it sucked. So we re-wrote. Enjoy. Reveiw. **

"_Give in to love or live in fear..." -Rent_

Elliot jumped out the car, and slammed the door, running down the blocks between his parking space and his apartment. He tore through the streets and through the rain, knowing she would be there.

And she was. She was sitting on his stoop, brown hair sticking to her face, soaking wet, eyes huge, staring at him. She got up and faced him. "What the hell were you thinking?"

He didn't know what he was thinking, so he just didn't answer her. She pushed her wet hair out of her face and took a deep breath. "That was the stupidest, most idiotic, rage driven thing you could have done. Jesus Christ Elliot, when are you going to learn?" she shouted.

He opened his mouth to speak, but she held up her hand. "I'm not finished!" she hissed at him. "I don't what it's going to take to get rid of this invincibility complex you have. Maybe it was staring down that gun, but maybe not. You're only human, El. Can you even imagine what it would be like for me if I had been five seconds later?"

"Are you finished yet?" he asked angrily.

"For now." She shot at him.

"Let me tell you what it would feel like if you hadn't been there in time. It might have been reminiscent of me watching you get on a plane without looking back, or as much as calling for months. I had to find out everything from Alex."

"Elliot, I don't know if I seriously intended to get on that plane." Her voice was softer now.

"So why did you?"

"You let me. You never asked me to stay." She said, whispering now.

"I practically begged you in the precinct Liv."

"Oh, Elliot, don't hold it against me. Everything happened so fast that night…"

They were silent for a long time. Olivia was going to leave it at that. Put just enough out there and let him take it or leave it. But what if he left it? What if her half truths and partial confessions weren't enough?

Remembering what got them into the mess in the first place, she bit her lip, closed her eyes and offered him every piece of herself that she had left.

"I was scared."

"Of Kathy or Ryan Harrison?" he quipped. In spite of herself, she smiled.

"Of you." She whispered, her seriousness returning. "I was scared..." she stopped. "I am scared of being the transition between the first big love of your life to the next."

She looked down abruptly. He put his hand on her chin, and gently tilted her face toward his face. "Jesus, I'm an idiot."

She raised her eyebrows, not taking the bait. "Oh my God, Olivia, I've just been so stupid. You were the big love all along. I just didn't see it."

"Oh, Elliot." She breathed. They were too close not too. He leaned in and kissed her. She returned it for awhile and then pulled away. "Elliot, what we did, to Kathy…"

"I thought that might come up."

"We never should have let it get so out of control."

"Maybe it had to, Liv. I'm not condoning what we did. I'm still wrestling with it, but maybe it had to be like that. God knows we wouldn't be here if…"

She closed her eyes for awhile. "Exactly. It took an affair to get us together. God Elliot, I was so absorbed in you, I would have done anything."

"You lost yourself. I felt the same way."

"So that's it? We resign to lose ourselves in each other? Elliot it got so bad towards the end. I thought I would lose it."

"It's never going to be easy, Olivia. There's always going to be-"

She cut him off. "The job, your kids, your wife."

"Ex- wife." He muttered. "And I was going to say complications."

She was suddenly overwhelmed by that feeling that she might be drowning. The events of the summer washed over her and submerged her. Having sex with Elliot for the first time. Finding Kathleen at that party. Screaming at each other. Having breakdown after breakdown. Kathy striding into the kitchen, and his words that kept echoing in her head. "Olivia, I'm in love with you."

She let it roll over her. She took it in, and just when she felt like she couldn't do it, because she couldn't even breathe, it all became clear to her. It would be easy to turn around and walk away.

It would be easy to fuck it all, and take him inside and do what they seemed to do best. But she would still be afraid. She was tired of being afraid.

She was a cop and she wasn't afraid of anything that job threw at her. But she afraid of love. For the second time in two days, Olivia found herself at a crossroads. She could run, or have sex with him to avoid the words. Or she could give in.

She pushed her sopping hair out her eyes. He watched her quizzically, apprehensively, because she looked like she might sprint the opposite direction.

"We'll never know why this happened." He said, desperate to keep her there. "We can't no. But I promise you this all happened for a reason. Olivia, if I could have conjured up something that would have made you stay, I mean, I was…"

She kissed him, partially to shut him up, but more so because she just wanted to. She pulled away, looked around and smiled.

She didn't have a lot of control over what would get thrown at them. But Olivia Benson had finally found something bigger, something worth giving up her control for.

She opened her mouth and told him then, because the past few months had taught her that you never know what's going to happen, and she wasn't about to miss her chance.

"I love you."


	15. Epilogue

Title: The Ties That Bind

Author: Sara and Lizzie

Rating: T for mild language, violence and sex

Disclaimer: We own nothing related to L&O. We can merely write fictious stories and curse Dick Wolf for teasing us.

**Author's Note: **This is our second SVU fic. It's set before Elliot and Kathy's separation, but they are having problems. We want to set it straight that we know it's out of character, and Elliot would never cheat on Kathy. That's why we call it fan _fiction_. We're trying to keep their basic traits the same, but in our situation. REVIEW. Please, we're slaves to your opinions.

**Author's Note: All good things must come to an end. Including this story. We're trying to cook up a new SVU fic to compensate, and we're also going to be going back to "Street Lights And Skylines", "All That Glitters" and "Notorious". Thanks for sticking with this, and thanks to all who reviewed. **

_"And you were the song all along." -Rent_

**One Year, Six Months Later**

3:39 PM  
New York City Courthouse Steps

The phone rang loudly, blending in with the cacophony ofsound on the courthouse steps. "Stabler," came the answer. There was a pause and Fin raised his eyebrows at his new partner.

"Really? This tip came from Internal Affairs?" There was a chuckle. "At least the sons of bitches got something right."

There was a pause. "They want in on the undercover? Cragen's not going to like that at all."

Fin turned his attention away from the phone call, and focused on Casey who came down the stairs. "Jury's just in. You did great, Fin. That testimony hit home with every parent, aunt and uncle in that room."

He smiled and shrugged. "I do what I can. Think they'll convict him?"

"I can't be sure, but it looks good."

Laughter from the phone call floated over toward them. "How's the new partnership?" she asked.

Fin smiled. "Me and Stabler? Oh you know, we always got along. The couple of cases we worked together before this went well."

"All's well that ends well, then." Casey said.

"How's your broken partnership?" he asked.

"Alex deserved the D.A spot." Casey said loyally. "I have a feeling she'll thrive there."

Fin nodded his agreement. All's well that ends well. Who knew that could happen?

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3:46 PM  
One Police Plaza

"I love you."

"I love you too."

In the surprisingly warm December sunshine outside the police headquarters, a smiling Elliot Stabler hung up his cell phone and placed it back in his pocket. He smiled, content and headed toward his police sedan.

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3:46 PM  
New York City Courthouse Steps

As the winter sun started to set, Olivia Benson- Stabler threw her own phone in her jacket pocket, and ambled over to Fin and Casey. Her recently placed wedding ring glinted on her finger, and she smiled.

It was hard to believe that so much had happened so quickly. And now, here in the afterglow of it all, she had found something to believe in. Something that went beyond her job and her past.

She believed in love.

The elated expression on Olivia's face was not lost on Fin or Casey. She came over to them, and murmured something about the city around Christmas time.

Casey's words echoed in Fin's head, and Olivia proved them.

All's well that ends well.


End file.
